Queen Mimi's World

Memories

2010-09-02T09:25:00.001-07:00

Crisp
Morning weather
dew on the turning leaves.
Red apples in a lunch box.
New Jeans.
Sharpened #2 penicl.

I Love Fall!

(but I miss my little girls)

I May be Frayed, but I'm still here...

2010-08-25T17:23:00.000-07:00

I’ve got the Writing bug again. Fall and winter is Approaching and I picture myself with more free time on my hands sitting in my Living room while I type away on the Lap Top I bought Just for this very thing about 2 years ago...but have not really been using for much more than Face booking and Google Searches for Wedding ideas. There have been many changes evolving around me and I often feel that I’m just barely holding on while ‘Life Happens’. I have often referred to some people like that …they just sit and let “Life Happen to them”. I refuse to be one of those people. I don’t like the feeling I get when things are going on beyond my control. I mean, nobody really does (do they?) My youngest daughter is getting married in the spring and I am Happy-Over the Moon-Thrilled for her. I have lots of fun little projects and “To-Do’s before she Says “I-Do”. But the process of it all tires me and I’m left a little overwhelmed. It’s my own doing…my own ideas that are in my control. But I have put High Stakes on this. I want it to be all that she hoped and dreamed of. On top of the Wedding, I’m working more than I’d really planned on at this stage of my life. With Dan on the other side of the Mountain pass 4 days a week, I sometimes feel alone and afraid at night. It’s silly I know, but old haunts just never go away. So the cycle goes on with lack of sleep, over tired and can’t sleep the next night. Grumbly and headache at work the next day and still not enough sleep that night. Finally Thursday comes...and thankfuly, so does sleep. Dan is very comforting and calming to me. I couldn’t go thru any of this without him. But then again, if it weren’t for him...I wouldn’t be going thru some of this in the first place! LOL

When Kristine was a baby, a friend of mine made her a crib quilt. It was a very simple small quilt with squares, a solid soft cotton backing and was tied with yarn. She Loved that Quilt and slept with it every nap and every night. It stayed with her when she moved to her toddler bed, then to her full size bed and she still clung to it when she had the King size bed we gave her when she was in High School. The squares were frayed, some missing and quite honestly it often smelled bad. She would tuck it inside of her pillow case even when it was down to just the brown backing so that her fingers could touch it when she slept. That quilt brought her Great comfort.
When I was thinking about her frayed quilt, I was thinking of how I am so similar right now to that quilt. I’ve been thru a Lot in my Life, and have given alot. I'm starting to feel that parts of me have been ripped away. But I am still here. I still have a purpose. The past few days, I've had a little Melody in my head and these words:

“I may be frayed, but I am still here.
Though I am torn, I have no fear.
God gives me strength, he’s always near
He blankets his arms around me.”

I’ve taken Kristine’s quilt back from her and it is now freshly laundered smelling of her favorite laundry soap and fabric softener. I have hopes of re-doing the quilt for her as a Bridal Shower gift in the hopes that she will never lose that feeling of comfort.

Mother's and Daughters

2010-05-13T06:23:00.000-07:00

I had a wonderful Mother's Day Weekend. Jen and Kristine came for a visit and Papa watched the kids Saturday while us girls went to the Women's show (donated $4 each..sort of a waste) But then we did what I really wanted to do which was the Wine walk on the Avenue. I Love shopping and exploring the downtown stores. Found a new store (Can't remember the name)that is Amazing and will give the Gilded Lilly a run for their Money. We sampled a few wines, nibbled on cheeses and crackers, enjoyed free samples of chocholates, candies and then a coffee tasting at Cafe Mela (where I bought the Saddle Rock Blend) We had a great time together and went for Pedicures after all the walking and finished our day with dinner at Smoke Blossom. Sunday was a beautiful morning at church and then Brunch at Chateau Faire Le Pont Winery. They have new Chef and I must say that I was quite impressed...as were Curtis and Kara. We all fell into a food coma and Jen and I finished off our time together watching Julie and Julia.
I've had a pretty stressful couple of weeks and even bordering on Depression. God knew what I needed and sent Two of my girls to come hang with me. Melissa called and sent some Love over the Cell phone and knowing that I will see her in a few weeks helped heal the hole in my heart that misses her. 16 Days until I introduce the Mouse to my 3 daughters, 2 son in laws, 5 grandkids and 1 son in law to be (We think) It's going to be a memorable time. I am Blessed beyond measure.

Failure is Not the Only Option!

2010-04-19T15:59:00.000-07:00

I have been over-wrought with concern about the failures in my life. I have failed at being a Good Friend and Leader. I give in to Temptation and Gossip too easily. I don’t know How to be the Daughter my Mother needs and am running out of time to fix it. I have a Failed Relationship with the Brother I was closest to (But I won't own ALL of that) I struggle with Not being an Over-Bearing Mom and making sure that my Adult Daughters know how much they mean to me. I have become "That" Grandmother who is always late with Birthday cards now, which Sucks because it's So important to me. I am Not a Good Housewife/Housekeeper anymore and it is Driving me Crazy! I have an Amazing job that I don't enjoy. I’m just tired of working I think. I want to quit my job so that I can play house and BE a better housewife, mother, and friend. I want to be Mentor to someone. I want to have time to let someone Mentor Me! I want to learn how to Knit, Play the Piano and the Guitar. I want to travel with my husband and visit my Grand kids, Friends and Family. I want to be able to go on a Mission Trip whenever there is a nudging at my heart to do so without any guilt or concern that I can't get the time off of work. I want to finish My Book! I hate that I am such a Big Picture Person that I can’t see the Trees for all the Forest….
I have too much “To-Do” and not enough “Time”. My job gives me good money, but I have no time to spend it on the important stuff. I’m so frustrated today and have been close to tears here at work for the majority of it. I don’t want to be a Nurse anymore. I want to Just Be Me. However, any other option than working will cause a Huge line-up of Failures. Dan and I will not get all the bills paid that need to be be gone so that he can Retire in 2 years. I fear that he will be disappointed in me for Quitting. (We Johnson’s don’t Quit) But What if….What if there was something else around the corner waiting for me. Am I willing to Fail in order to Succeed?? What if Failure was Not the Only Option?

The Places I've been....

2010-04-13T17:27:00.000-07:00

I'm not really sure what to say, I've been so busy but have had a wonderful time. I came across this Meme from my friend Dawn and decided to take a stab and answer the questions as well. Enjoy! I Hope to be back to some regular Blogging soon.

If I were a month,
I'd be September, when Days are still long, nights are Glowing Amber in the Sky and the Remembering of New Adventures like the first day of School brought eager anticipation.

If I were a day,
I'd be Christmas Day, when we can't help but think of those we Love and are able to make Wishes come True to Young and Old.

If I were a time of day,
I'd be that moment when my eyes first open. Torn between squeezing them tight to remember my dreams, and squinting them open to the promise of a new day.

If I were a font,
I'd be Lucinda Calligraphy, at least a 12. Easy to read, Crisp but a little bit of fun too.

If I were a sea animal,
I'd be a starfish, enjoying the squeals of laughter and excitement when they found me on the shore.

If I were a direction,
I'd be west, Where the Sun sets and the Ocean Lives. The Sun and the Ocean are two of my favorite things.

If I were a piece of furniture,
I'd be a Piano, where family photos would be proudly displayed on top of me and people of all ages would gather round, plunking and playing with Laughter and Song spilling out of their beautiful smiling faces.

If I were a liquid,
I'd be the foam in a hot steamy latte on a crisp Fall morning.

If I were a gemstone,
I'd be a Large dark blue Sapphire, Smooth and Cool against the skin.

If I were a tree,
I'd be an Weeping Cherry tree, full of beautiful sweet buds of joy, but falling down towards the ground heavy with the reality that the flowers will soon fall.

If I were a tool,
I'd be a hammer, strong, powerful and needed by all.

If I were a flower,
I'd be a Tulip, coming back every Spring with new Life, new Hope and New Promise.

If I were an element of weather,
I'd be the Soft Quiet Snowflakes that Fall on a Crisp Winter Evening.

If I were a musical instrument,
I'd be a Guitar, humming with each strum of the artist.

If I were a colour,
I'd be Red, like the Sky on an October night.

If I were an emotion,
I'd be that kind of Joy you feel when you hold your Baby in your arms for the first time.

If I were a fruit,
I'd be an Apple, Juicy and Crisp, Sweet and a little Tart as well.

If I were a sound,
I'd be the sound of children laughing off in the distance. The moment that brings a smile and giggle to your own ears.

If I were an element,
I'd be water, falling down from the sky to hide the tears falling down from your eyes.

If I were a car,
I'd be a Volkswagen Beetle, cruising down the Avenue with the Windows down and the Beach boys on.

If I were a food,
I'd be a Triple Layer Coconut Cream Pie, Soft and fluffy with layers of sweetness.

If I were a place,
I'd be the Velvet Sandy Beach on the Floridian Coast, where the sand squeaks when you walk on it and your toes dig deep trying to imbed the feeling and memory into your mind forever.

If I were material,
I'd be soft white Cotton, you can smell it's softness on the clothesline blowing in the breeze.

If I were a taste,
I'd be the taste of Strawberry Lip-gloss on my 16 year old lips after I've kissed my True Love.

If I were a body part,
I'd be the left ring finger of a Woman who is still Amazed when she glances down at her hand of how Greater is her husbands love for her than the size of the much cherished diamond she adores.

If I were a song,
I'd be Amazing Grace, the ageless Truths bring us all back to the place we belong.

If I were a bird,
I'd be a hummingbird, working hard for my keep but bringing such fascination to those who enjoy my flight.

If I were a gift,
I'd be the gift of touch in a time of need to the one who wasn't even aware they needed me, and the gift I receive in return would be much greater.

If I were a city,
I'd be Paris on a Spring Day with smells of the Boulangerie and baking Baguettes await me.

If I were a door,
I'd be a Large Red Door of Next Chapters where there is no fear in stepping through it but only the Promise of a New Tomorrow.

If I were a pair of shoes,
I'd be Black Mary Jane's worn by a 5 year old who scuffs up her Mama's Kitchen floor as she pretends to tap-dance.

If I were a poem,
I'd be 'Oh the Places you'll go' by Dr Seuss, my journey has only begun.....

It's Time

2009-12-07T22:53:00.000-08:00

It's Time for me to post here again. It's time for me to worry less about what I Shouldn't say, and focus on what I Need to say. I think that I speak my mind too much so have been working on speaking less. I just need to speak with purpose, and kindness and Love. It's time for me to write my Story and to share it. I stopped writing for many reasons. Some was because it's painful to share hurts. It's painful to Me to see my hurts in writing. I recalled another fond childhood memory the other day. Writing will help with that as well. I stopped writing because I didn't want my daughters and others who I care about, know the pains I endured. I don't want people (especially my daughters) to have different feelings towards me or my past. I'm concerned about those who hurt me reading things and becoming angry and only hurting me more. So I stopped. But the planning of this years Spring Women's Retreat has prompted my heart to start again.
in fact, I'm going to start by sharing and speaking at this years retreat. Our theme is: "Trusting his Word...a Novel idea" It will focus on Book/Novel themes and of course the Bible. If I was to write my life story in a perfect Fiction way, how would I have written it? How would you have written yours? But the bottom line is, it wasn't my story to write...at least not then. But it is now. It's time.

Songs by a Sixteen year old in 1974

2009-08-11T16:00:00.000-07:00

I mentioned a few weeks ago about how I Love to sing. I am always thinking in Song. I make up songs, make up tunes whatever. Some are my words to other tunes, some are out of tune songs in my head. I have a song in my head today that is one of those "made up songs" by me. I wrote this song when I was about 16 years old and so On Fire for the Lord. I was handing out Tracts, Knocking on doors. Loving God and praying that the Rapture wouldn't happen until I'd asked forgivness for my sins at least one more time.
I just recently become the proud new Mommy of a 1974 VW Super Bug. It's made me a bit nostalgic for when I lived with my Foster Parents and my Dad Cash (that's his name) owned a little red bug. My Sister Linda and I would Love to borrow it and take it on as many errands as we could. This always involved "cruising" around the High School or up and down Central Avenue in Chino Ca. On more than one occasion, we left Sunday evening service in LA area early after telling my Mom Bertha (that was HER name)that we had to get up early for school the next day. Lies...all of it. We just wanted to go cruising up and down Sunset Blvd. Anyhoo..fond memories.
I don't know music notes from Adam...but here are the words to the song:

I WAKE UP IN THE MORNING TO THE SUNLIGHT OF HIS LOVE,
AND IN MY HEART THERE IS A JOY FELT FROM ABOVE.
HE GOES WITH ME RIGHT THROUGH EACH DAY,
AND KEEPS ME SINGING ALONG THE WAY.
I WISH THAT I COULD TELL YOU HOW I FEEL!

ChorusOH SWEET JESUS, HE'S JUST ONE OF THOSE THINGS YOU REALLY HAVE TO EXPERIENCE.
OH SWEET JESUS, HE'S JUST ONE OF THOSE THINGS YOU REALLY HAVE TO EXPERIENCE.

I'M TELLING YOU THE STORY OF A MAN WHO DIED FOR YOU.
WHO GAVE HIS LIFE TO SHARE A LOVE THAT'S OH SO TRUE.
WHY DON'T YOU COME TO CHRIST TODAY,
AND LET HIM WASH YOUR SINS AWAY?
OH THIS COULD BE THE START OF SOMETHING NEW!

ChorusOH SWEET JESUS, HE'S JUST ONE OF THOSE THINGS YOU REALLY HAVE TO EXPERIENCE.
OH SWEET JESUS, HE'S JUST ONE OF THOSE THINGS YOU REALLY HAVE TO EXPERIENCE.

NOW YOU WILL WAKE UP IN THE MORNING WITH THE SUNLIGHT OF HIS LOVE,
AND IN YOUR HEART THERE IS A JOY SENT FROM ABOVE!
HE'LL GO WITH YOU RIGHT THROUGH EACH DAY,
AND KEEP YOU SINGING ALONG THE WAY
NOW YOU CAN TELL THE WORLD JUST HOW IT FEELS!

ChorusOH SWEET JESUS, HE'S JUST ONE OF THOSE THINGS YOU REALLY HAVE TO EXPERIENCE.
OH SWEET JESUS, HE'S JUST ONE OF THOSE THINGS YOU REALLY HAVE TO EXPERIENCE.

MAKE A JOYFUL NOISE

2009-06-25T16:11:00.000-07:00

When I was about 13 years old, I used to help lead songs at my Foster Mom’s church. I’d sing sometimes with my Foster Sister Linda on Special Occasions also. We even had a few other young people from our church who sang in a little ensemble from time to time. I would listen to my Mom or Sister sing Harmony to these old Hymns and I would try to copy them. I just loved to sing! I never paid much attention to how I sounded until one day when one of my older foster brothers came over to our house and heard me singing. “You sound like this gal from my high school who sang with me in Bye-Bye Birdie.” He said.
I thought it was a compliment at first. But then he went on to imitate my singing and described it as “Warbled” he said I sounded like a Canary. Geeze! Don’t Canaries sing good??
I was devastated. I didn’t stop singing, but I sure became more self conscious about it. I didn’t sign up to sing in any Choirs in school until I was a senior and my new BFF encouraged me to change my schedule and be in choir with her. I agreed and we went during lunch to have the teacher initial my request for the office.
I was in such angst when I realized that I was going to have to audition right there for this teacher I didn’t even know. I think I sang God Bless America cause it’s the only song I knew by heart. He didn’t bat an eye, said I was an Alto and off I went. This choir was not just the High School Choir; it was “The” Madrigal Choir.
We didn’t wear robes, but ordered special matching dresses and attended competitions even! I had a blast in that Choir. It was one of the highlights of my Senior Year.
It gave me back the joy of singing I remembered. Much to the disdain of my girls I often think, I pretty much sang my way thru the next few years of my life. I would make up different words to old songs. When they got older, we would go to Karaoke with our friends on the weekends and I even entered a competition at our local hang out and made it to be one of the semi-finalist. I have lots of fond memories even of taking our girls to “Family” Karaoke on Sundays.
Once we started attending church on a regular basis in Snohomish, I joined the choir there. We sang most every Sunday and the only problem I encountered is that I didn’t read music. Eventually our church grew and we established a worship team.
I really wanted to do be a part of it. I finally got the courage to talk to our pastor’s wife about it and was told that I had to meet with her and sing for her. Ugh…Gulp…. I didn’t think I could go through with it, but I did. She had me sing one of my favorite Worship songs with her and I sang the harmony. That was it…I was in! I had the best time. I was able to lead worship, and then go teach my Pre-school Sunday School class as soon as that part of service was over. Soon I got brave enough, and even was doing duets with my friends and even once sang a solo for special music. Music and singing were once again a big part of my life. I had found my purpose at SFA.
Fast forward 5 years later and here I am at a different church sitting in the pew on Sunday morning wishing I was up front on the worship team. I remember the first choir practice I drug myself to. Everybody was so good! They ALL seemed to know how to read music. I couldn’t tell you what an F sharp or B flat look like or sound like. I just know how to “hear” the harmony or melody. I almost never went back. But there was this precious gal who wanted me to join “Mommy and Me” and I had to tell her I didn’t have any kids calling me Mommy anymore! She was my new BFF and I was willing to do anything in order to spend more time with her and get to know her better. I miss our days of choir. I wished so much that WFA had a choir that would sing once in awhile. All there is left to sing with is the Worship team. But that being said, I have let my fears of not being good enough, or thin enough keep me sitting there looking on. I have had encouragement from a few friends telling me to just do it and join the worship team. I keep waiting until everything is "Just Right". I keep hearing a voice in my head say that I’m not good enough or thin enough to stand up there. I don't really believe these things. I know that God made me who I am and that God has promised to give me the desires of my heart. I desire to sing, to worship and to praise him. I will never Be Good Enough or Thin Enough for some people...But I am Perfect In God's Eyes. I feel the time is near.

THINGS OVERHEARD IN MY HEART....

2009-06-23T13:44:00.000-07:00

I am home from work today nursing a head cold and body aches that came about after a vigorous week being a camp counselor again at Royal Family Kids Camp
Dan and I both volunteered a week of our time to be counselors for kids ages 7-11 who are in Foster care here in Douglas and Chelan counties. Our Church sponsors the camp and there were lots of fun activities planned. Most of which involved climbing up and down hills and some sleepless nights only to get up and do it all over again the next day. Through all the mishaps, splinters and aches and pains (I'm talking the Adults, not the kids) it was a successful week.
I could not help but be taken back to my own childhood when I had been selected by the Salvation Army to go to camp because I myself was in a Foster Home. I can vividly remember many moments from that week at camp. I didn't want to go home.
Today, I am still overwhelmed by the Love and connection I felt for so many of these kids. Even the most taxing child in my cabin tugged on my heart the last day. This one little girl was such a handful for all 3 of us counselors in our cabin. She was throwing fits, yelling, running off from us. Plain Awful! But the last day I watched as she ran past me holding on to her blanket that had been given to her from our church. She ran up to this little boy who we found out was her brother. Sadly, we didn't find out until camp was almost over that they were related. We could have helped ensure they spent some time together. It also would have explained why she was always acting out and running off. Anyhow, she runs up to him and he is trying to get away from her but is smiling. She wraps her blanket and arms around him and starts kissing him all over his face. "I Love you" she said to him. "Yeah, Yeah..I know" he said back to her. I couldn't help myself and gave them both a Huge hug. We held onto each other for several seconds. The little girl then told me that this was her brother and that they don't live together. "I don't get to see him too much" she said to me. I told them both that I knew exactly how they both felt.
I was so surprised to feel an enormous amount of personal pain right then. But it wasn't pain at the thought of my own siblings that were not raised together. but instead was thought of my own brother that I don't get to see or talk to. We are adults now and there is no court system keeping us apart. It's our own stubbornness and heartache. I have had 2 dreams about him since that week at camp. Two dreams where he told me that he loved me and that he missed me and that he was sorry for saying such hurtful things to me. He is not the only one at fault. I just don't see an end in sight for us right now. The dam is too big and the hole is too large to fix. Only prayer and time will help. It's nice to visit him in my dreams. I hope and pray that they will be less painful and my tears will be happy ones soon.
Below is an old photo of my brother and I cropped from one of our first "Reunions".

HAPPY BIRTHDAY JENNIFER

2009-05-08T23:02:00.000-07:00

Once upon a time, in a land not too far away....
There lived a Beautiful Princess who was born on the 9th of May.

Her parents felt so lucky to be Blessed with such a task,
to raise this Precious little girl...for more, they could not ask.

Her hair was dark like Chestnuts,
her eyes were Hazel Brown.

She had skin soft like a porcelin doll,
her cheeks were rosy and round.

From the Very beginning, she caused their hearts to grow.
The Joy she brought into their lives, she will never really know.

Time has come and years have gone,
she's grown up and moved away.

God has sent her across the globe,
But in our hearts, she will always stay.

Today is a day we Celebrate,
the Day God decided to send...

A Beautiful Baby Angel,
that her parents now call JEN!

~We Love you Jennifer Lynn and are Very Proud that you have let God lead you where he needs you. I know it's tough to be apart, especially on special days like this. But what a wonderful time we live in that we can send video, chat on skype and post sappy poems such as this. I pray that your weekend is Special~

Love, Mom

FAMILY TIES THAT BIND

2009-04-29T23:00:00.000-07:00

My oldest Foster Sis Wanda has 2 sons. The youngest one Randy Johnson, is the same age as I am. At least once a year, Wanda and her husband Ernie would bring Randy to Washington state to visit family there. Which of course meant staying with her Mom (My Foster Mom) and a visit to to see Randy's cousins Danny and Rhonda.

This is a picture of an old Polaroid photo, so it's not too good. Randy Johnson is in the back along with Danny. Myself and Rhonda are in the front.
I looked forward to the visits with Rhonda and Danny almost as much as the visit from my foster Sis and her family. Danny and Rhonda only lived about a mile away from us, but it was much different at his house than at mine. At His house...you could actually sit in the living room and they were allowed to eat in there on TV trays. At my house...Not so much. Don't get me wrong, I would give anything for a formal Living room again. But as a kid, they kind of bite.
When I first met Danny, I had a huge crush on him. But he was at an age where he was not interested in a 12 year old little girl. However as time went on, he began to notice me a little more. One of the following Summers, Dan's family and Wanda's family all went camping up at Lake Hemet California, and Randy came back to tell me that Danny liked me and had even carved our names on a water tower there. Now, I've never seen it...and I doubt that the water tower is still there. But I have to tell you that I still think that is Such a Romantic thing for a teenage boy to do. Most of the time though, I was more interested in his Sister Rhonda's horse than I was in Danny. They had animals in their backyard in the middle of the city! I thought it was way cool. Plus, Dan's sister looked up to me and we had a Great time hanging out. I spent the night with her at their house many times. The Summer I was 15, things changed a bit with Dan and I. When I went to their house, I was no longer wanting to hang out with Rhonda, but would much rather hang out with Danny and would try to talk Rhonda into playing a board game like Monopoly with us. After Wanda and her family returned to Washington, Danny continued to come around my house. One day (July 19th 1974) he called my house and my Foster Mom answered. He asked if I was home, and she said no but did he want her to give me a message. Well, he said..I was wondering if she'd like to go to the movies with me tonight. My Mom told him that I'd Love to and that was that. I walked in the door to a very excited family waiting to tell me that I had a date. Like a Car date! Dan arrived on time, came in and shook hand etc. Then we walked out to his (Mom's) car and opened the door for me. I do believe that it's the last car door he opened for me. But I cherish the memory just the same.

MISSING FRIENDS

2009-04-28T10:55:00.001-07:00

I've been in a bit of a funk the past few days. I know that part of it is because I've had this cold. I know that part of it is because Dan is gone all week and our weekends together seem too short and too full of stuff that needs to be done. I just want to put the brakes on my life and Scream "Hold on a Minute!" I think that we've been doing great with this new twist in our lives and have done a good job in balancing it all. But something is missing. I have an emptiness that I can't shake. It occurred to me this morning in the shower...
(My best thoughts are "shower thoughts") Tomorrow is my wedding anniversary...which means that today is April 28th...which means that today would have been Tiff's Birthday! Ah ha!! That's what's wrong. I miss my friend Tiffanie. It's been 5 years since she died from pancreatic cancer. It's been 5 years since Dan and I moved here to Wenatchee. I have tears in my eyes even as I type this. She was such an Amazing friend. She was the kind of friend who you could call at any time and she'd stop what she was doing and come to your rescue. She was the kind of friend who would call YOU to come and rescue her... or to have you go help someone else that she heard about. She was not just a "Sunday Friend" (her phrase) She was the kind of friend that made EVERYONE feel like they were her "Best Friend". She taught me so much. She was a faithful prayer, a reader of God's word, Gardner and Gleaner, a Homemaker and Mother. She had a Beautiful voice and helped me gain confidence to join the worship team and to even sing a solo at church. When she was diagnosed with Cancer, she turned it all over to God. She never stopped to feel sad about it.
"God must have something he needs to teach me" she said. The 3rd and final time the cancer came back she said; "I guess God has more for me to learn."
I told Tiff that maybe it wasn't about her this time; maybe it was about God teaching those who loved her something about him.
I remember once complaining about all that I had to do before my Mother in law was coming for a visit. Between Christmas and work, I was feeling overwhelmed. She kept asking me what she could do to help. “Oh nothing.” I’d say back to her. Finally, she kept bugging me and insisted that she wanted to help. She told me to Make a list and that she would come over to help me get it done. So I gave in and agreed that she could clean out my fridge and straighten up my linen closet. While she was buried deep in my fridge, she stuck her head out and said with a huge grin; “You must really Love me!” What? I said. “You must really Love me to let me do this for you.” Wow…I was blown away. I was so afraid of letting her see my messy house that I almost missed out on this wonderful Double Blessing.
I will never forget that moment, and I will never forget her.
Today I am not just missing the friendship of Tiffanie, but I am missing Friendship. Facebook tells me that I have 133 friends. But I don’t feel like I have the kind of friends that I would call just to chat or meet for coffee. Everyone is so busy right now with Kids and Sports and church activities. I think that if Dan were home more than 2 days a week, I’d be less “friend needy” because he and I are fantastic friends. But I also think that it’s not healthy to expect your spouse to fill that need all the time. If my daughters or other family lived closer, that would help too. But it is what it is. Thank God for Instant messaging, texting and Facebook. I know that this is just a Season for me. It’s just a bump in the road. I feel better just being able to acknowledge what I am going through right now.
I am Thankful for the friends who are there for me, and who will allow me to be there for them.
Pity Party is over….you don’t have to go home, but you can’t stay here.a

2009-04-27T12:04:00.000-07:00

This coming Wednesday, April 29th is going to be my 32nd Wedding Anniversary. However, Dan and I have known each other for 38 years. I thought that I would take a few moments and share our early life together here on my Blog. I will update it over the next week or so. What a fun journey this has been…and writing down the memories and reading them myself, makes it even more fun!
When I was about 12 years old, I had moved with my Foster Family from Artesia, California to Chino. This was the equivalent of moving from Seattle to Wenatchee. I often went with my Mom to visit older or sick individuals from our church as she was the Pastor. I think she just didn’t like to go out and about alone, and I enjoyed the 1:1 attention (no surprise huh?) The Duckworth’s had older children who were married and a few had almost grown children themselves. Their oldest daughter Wanda was married to Ernie Johnson and lived in Washington State. (Still does) Wanda’s Mother in law was also named Bertha and lived just about a mile away from where we had moved to. My Foster Mom and I were going to pay a visit to her one sunny summer afternoon. When we arrived, we were greeted by this adorable short woman who was thrilled that we had come by. She offered us a cold drink and I sat down as the two Mother in Laws talked about Kids and Grandkids. While we were sitting there, it was apparent that there was someone mowing the backyard. A little while later, in walks this adorable young boy. He came in to get a drink as he was very warm (despite having no shirt on and wearing shorts) He was a little older than I was and had thick light brown hair and was very tanned. I was a little embarrassed as he was shirtless and I could see the top and bottom of his boxers thru his Levi corduroy cut offs. Yes….I checked him out good! Let’s just say that he had a tan line…and it was more of the male physique than I had ever seen in my short life thus far. This boy’s name was Danny and his Grandmother wanted to be sure and introduce him to me since I was new to the area. He was 14 and also had a younger Sister named Rhonda, who was close to my age. I was swooning and don’t believe that I really paid too much attention at the time to any of what she was telling me. Danny’s Dad Norman was the brother of Wanda’s husband, and this woman was their Mom. My oldest foster Sister Wanda was Danny's Aunt! It didn’t make us cousins or anything, but because we were now “Family” our paths were destined to cross on several occasions over the next few years.

THE VIEW FROM HERE

2009-04-15T17:18:00.000-07:00

The Leader of my Monday night Weight Watcher Group has a great habit of cute little quotes intended to inspire us. Most of the time I think that they are kind of corny, but a couple of weeks ago she said something that really stuck with me. “The Rear View Mirror is Smaller for a Reason.” She talked about how we need to look thru the front windshield in order to see where we’re going and not to focus on where we've been. I thought it made sense, but not in regards to weight loss. I was thinking that I Wanted to look back and Remember how much I’ve lost (35 pounds) and not focus on how much I have to lose (94?!) At my last meeting, she mentioned it again. But this time, it was at a meeting where I had ‘Gained’ a little (0.6 pounds) LOL. Her quote made more sense to me this time. I needed to look ahead at what I can DO this week and in the weeks ahead to continue my successful journey.
After I got home, I thought a little more about the whole Rear view Mirror thing. In Life, (mine in particular) we can spend too much time dwelling on things that happened. We can get Stuck there and not move on. If I’m driving and keep looking back in my rear view mirror every few minutes….I’m going to run into something or miss my turn!
I think that God wants us to do the same thing. He wants us to forget about our past (He has) and to move forward looking ahead. When Dan and I went through Rick Warren's’s Purpose Driven Life, I learned one of my now favorite Bible Verses: Ecclesiastes 3:11 (New International Version)
11 He has made everything beautiful in its time. He has also set eternity in the hearts of men; yet they cannot fathom what God has done from beginning to end.
It is a reminder to focus on the PRIZE, and not Dwell on our past defeats. We must not put too much value on our past accomplishments either, but continue to strive towards our Goal. I know that when I get to Heaven….I will have a perfect body. But in the meantime, I’m going to work like nobody’s business to get it done while I’m here.

TO BE LIKE HIM

2009-03-05T11:12:00.000-08:00

I was driving home last night and changing the channels on my car radio looking for a song I knew and could sing to. But instead of stopping on a song for some reason, I stopped on an obscure channel with some guy from the south preaching. It was a fascinating story really. He started out like he was going to speak about Patience and then began to talk about Jesus when he was in the Garden of Gethsemane. This immediately brought back a memory of me being a child sitting in church on a Sunday evening. I was so tired and pretending to be praying in my seat with my head bowed and eyes closed, when in reality I was just resting my eyes and waiting for church to be over so we could make the hour long drive home. A few weeks later, I learned the story about Jesus in the garden with his disciples. They were supposed to be praying, and they all fell asleep. I was overcome with guilt and from then on, even if I was only praying “Jesus, please help me stay awake.” I never faked it like that again. I wanted to be a better person. To be a prayer warrior like my foster Mom. She was Amazing at it. She could walk through the house holding her Bible and praying out loud for people. Some who had maybe called her and had a prayer request, or just others that God had put on her heart.
Anyway, this guy is talking about how Jesus was betrayed by a Kiss from Peter. He’d told the soldiers that the person he went up to and kissed would be Jesus. The other disciples asked Jesus if they should draw arms and right then Peter takes his sword out and cuts off the ear of one the men there….a Servant! He was just pretending to be defending Jesus to look good I guess. The best part of the whole story though, was how Jesus reached out and touched this guy’s ear and made it whole again. It was his last act of healing before he died. I hadn’t remembered this part of the story before. I was sitting in the parking lot of La Fuentes by now waiting for Dan to meet me and didn’t want to turn my radio off.
It really got me thinking of how right up to the end, Jesus showed Grace and Compassion. How Peter who said that he would be with Jesus until the end could turn on him and pretend to be defending him. I really want to be more like Jesus. In everything I say and do. I want to be a prayer warrior. I want to be Gracious and Compassionate. I don’t want to be a Peter. I want to give 100% to what is important to me, whether it’s my weight loss, my friendships, family relationships, or my work. I know that the New Year is well under way and that I’ve already made and started my Resolutions. But I just needed to convince myself that I can finish them.

DREAMING OF DREAMS

2009-03-02T11:44:00.000-08:00

It was a house that I didn't recognize, but the people around me seemed familiar. I felt some anxiety because I knew that you were there. I was dreading the moment we'd make eye contact. I so wanted to leave the room before you entered but I could hear your voice bellowing over the din of everyone else.
Suddenly, you rushed towards me and wrapped your huge arms around me as we both toppled over. I could hear you began to sob and I myself was overcome with tears as well. "I'm so sorry!" you cried out. "I've missed you and the US we used to have." I became aware that everyone else had left the room. I did a quick glance around me and saw her standing over by the door as she closed it quietly so that we could talk.
I pushed you gently away and I was prepared to speak what was on my heart. You continued to cry while wiping away the flood of tears and I knew that my love and compassion for you was going to make this harder, but I had to proceed.
"We need to talk about this." I said. "It needs to be addressed. I can't just let this go. You said some horrid things."
I was shocked to see that I had in my hand the folded papers that I've been carrying around with me. My 'badge of horror' to remind me of how you really feel towards me. You didn't disagree with me but you didn't acknowledge anything either. You just kept saying that you missed me. I just kept getting sadder and sadder until the sobbing started again. Then I knew why I was crying....I was waking up and it was Only a Dream.

What's in a Decade?

2009-02-09T12:47:00.000-08:00

On Jan 31st, my oldest Grandaughter Kasey turned 10 years old. 2008 was such a big birthday year for both of us as I myself turned 50. It got me to thinking of how much my life has changed in the past 10 years. I had just turned 40 and my middle daughter had just gotten married. I was on the brink of some life changing moments and had no idea. I was too busy feeling sorry for myself that I was getting "old." I'm sure some of you are laughing as this sounds all to familiar to some moments with me "this" year. LOL
I thought I'd make a list of some major events that have happened since Kasey was born, and how God has blessed me.
*My husband gave his life to the Lord and God began to work a miracle in his life and our family.
*I met some Amazing Life Long Friends at Snohomish First Assembly.
*I Lost a dear friend from there (Tiffanie)when she lost her fight with Pancreatic Cancer. God tested my faith, and I still believe in miracles. He chose to not heal her, but to make her whole.
*I gained another son in law Ryan, who joined Kasey's Daddy Jason as new members of our family.
*I was blessed with 3 Grandsons, Jacob,Curtis,Xavier and another Grandaughter Kara.
*My youngest daughter Kristine went on a 6 month mission trip to Mexico and we trusted God to provide for her...and he did.
*My Son in law Ryan and daughter Jennifer worked as youth pastors in both Tacoma and Tonasket and now are Missionaries with the Free Methodist church in Malawi Africa. I've asked God to provide me with Peace and to protect them, and he has.
*Dan and I moved to Wenatchee and have found a wonderful Home church at WFA as well as a few more Life Long friends.
*We have both been on 2 short term mission trips together as well as spending a week working with Royal Family Kids Camp. God has helped me to see my husband as the Tender Hearted, yet Strong Man that he is. What a Blessing it has been to work with him in each of these projects.
*We have lost a few dear Family Members and have Peace known only to believers that we do not doubt where they will spend eternity and that we will see them again one day.
*We have learned to appreciate each Moment we spend with others and to make a point to let people know they matter to us and to God.

I really just started this Blog to point out that my Baby Kasey is now 10. I am amazed at how quickly time has passed. But in the process, I wanted to share how much I've seen God's hand upon My Life. I want to remember how far I've come and to try and fathom what will happen in the next 10 years. This Amazing, Wonderful Journey is just begining.

WIRED FOR SOUND....

2009-02-02T14:57:00.000-08:00

So today was the Big Day! I went in at 8:00 to Dr Merrill's office. I drove there even though it's less than 150 yards from my house. I knew I was already going to be late to work, so I just left as soon as the Braces were on. Goodnes gracious, as happy as I was to have those darn "Spacers" taken out...this really didn't seem so bad. (SEEM...that's the word here) I had enourmous relief whent the spacers were taken out and the metal "Bands" were placed around my back Molars. I'm sure that they have cut into my gums a bit...but still, feels better than those spacers. The worst part really was when they took the bands off long enough to apply "Cherry Flavored Cement" to them and shoved them back on. I must tell you that there was NO similarity between this Cement and Cherry anything. In fact, I almost called the entire episode off. This Cement had to stay on for at least 5 minutes (or 5 hours, I can't remember) I had to grab a gauze off of their tray and hold onto my tongue to keep it away from the offending "Flavor". After the set time limit, I was allowed to rinse, spit, swish etc with water and mouthwash. (none of it helped and I can still taste it even now) It's possible that I might just be a little more sensitve than other people...not sure..but maybe.
Braces are not for the weak I tell you. Put them on your kids while they are young enough to not question what is being done to them. I feel like I need to call each of my girls and apologize for not taking their complaints more seriously.
I knew that my teeth were crooked before, but now that there are these little silver things with wires going thru them all across my teeth...you can Really tell how crowded my mouth is. Very Zig-Zagging if you ask me. Don't look too closely at the picture though, or you will notice a slight green tinge on one tooth. It might be broccoli, or it might just be a reflection of my shirt. They sent me home with enough tools to build a NASA Space Ship. I have used most of them already. I have tried to use the wax, but not ever really enjoying playdough much...I can't get the hang of it.
Unfortunatly for the rest of you...I will keep you posted on this.

Faces to Launch a Thousand Tears

2009-01-26T15:29:00.000-08:00

Back when my 1st Grandchild Kasey was born (10 years ago on Jan 31st)
I wrote a little Nursery Rhyme for her.
A couple of years later when her brother Jacob was born, Kasey helped me write Him his very own song. Once you start something, you have to keep it going. These are the songs I wrote for Curtis and then Kara. They are on their journey back to Africa and I miss them so much already. They will be flying out of Portland on Thursday. Please continue to keep them and their Mom and Dad in your prayers as they face the many challenges and changes ahead.

Curtis Wheeler, Mimi’s Baby Boy.
You’re so Handsome, You’re my Pride and Joy.
You’re my little angel, My sunshine in the rain.
I will Love you always, in my heart you’ll ever stay.

I Love Kara, she’s my baby girl.
Eyes as bright as the stars above,
The brightest in the world.
Skin as soft as angels wings
Hair so silky fine.
Yes I Love my Kara Joy
And I’m so Glad she’s mine.

Spacing Out.....

2009-01-21T11:50:00.000-08:00

Yesterday I got my Spacers put in. They are small blue things that look like Rubber Bands and are put in place between some of your Molars to make room prior to having the "Bands" (Braces) put on. I only had to have 5 instead of 8 (Thank God!) The assistant who was supposed to put them in was not able to get them through my teeth, so she had to call the Orthodontist over to do it. He told me that he only does about 4 patients a year. If you want to know what it feels like, floss your teeth with a rubber band and then leave it in between your teeth. Try to eat while chewing on this little piece of rubber. Try to keep you tongue from touching the piece of rubber. After awhile, the soft little rubber band feels like a huge piece of wood wedged in there and your tongue gets real sore. I am told that this is the hardest part. 12 days and counting………

Thank Heaven for Little Girls...

2009-01-18T17:34:00.001-08:00

....Who Grow up to Be such Beauties.
Thanks to my friend Dawn for taking some family photos after church today. It was a rare in a lifetime opportunity that I had all my daughters together at one time. In fact, I was blessed to have my entire family except for one son in law with me this weekend. Wednesday morning my house will be empty, But my Heart will be Full of some wonderful memories.
More pictures and Memories to follow.

BRACE YOURSELF

2009-01-14T15:17:00.000-08:00

Besides seeing that I have no makeup on, no upper lip, a tiny mustache and some discolored teeth...you will also notice that I have a very crowded jagged set of teeth. I have had a jaw that pops for years and was told that Braces would help. I had 3 daughters who needed them more than I did (or at least that's what I told myself) I joked that I needed to get them married off so they needed good teeth. For a time, I wore some special mouth guard to help keep my jaw and teeth relaxed and lined up properly. I lost it at Sea-tac airport and could not afford to replace it. So here I am now 50 years old and trying to turn over a new leaf of sorts. I've lost enough weight that I have only 1 chin now. I had a Good check up and cleaning at the dentist (first time in the 40 years I've been going to the dentist...Yay Sonicare!!) The only thing to complain about was my crooked teeth and how discolored they are. The discoloration is due to old cheap fillings I've had placed over the years. They stain and can not be whitened even by a dentist. So my dentist discussed Veneers with me. These will be like crowns/caps on my teeth to replace the old large fillings I have. But the Veneers will be pretty and my teeth will all be even shapes and lengths. So, before I can get the Veneers, I need to get braces so that the veneers will go on all nice and neat. I have $2000 from Dan's Insurance towards braces and $2000 from My Insurance towards this as well. I am a Very Lucky girl.
I am going to document my journey here with pictures and all.
(Don't everybody jump up and down at once)
On Tuesday of next week I get Spacers. I've searched it online and have seen these Hideous blue rubber band things sticking all over peoples teeth. Looks and sounds awful. I will be sure and let you know. The "Banding" takes place on Feb 2. So be sure and check back for pics of the "Spacers" next Tuesday.
Boy is this gonna be Fun!

Don't believe EVERYTHING that you Read....

2009-01-12T13:59:00.000-08:00

More insults to me (Taken out of context of course, and not in a certain order...but then again, does it really matter?):

"you are textbook passive aggressive"

"You are always cruel in such a way that you can save face"

"You hurt and hurt and hurt and hurt and when someone confronts you about being hurtful, you lash out like a viper... and accuse and vilify and then become the victim"

"You are mean-spirited, cruel, vindictive and manipulative"

"You're not entitled. You are unworthy and undeserving"

"Is it possible you think mental torture of those you love is NORMAL? Of course it's possible. It's the way you were raised"

"You're a very sick person"

"you're more f----- up than I ever imagined"

January 12, 2009 1:57 PM

STICKS AND STONES

2009-01-11T15:08:00.000-08:00

On the playgrounds of our youth we all heard the old phrase, "Sticks and stones may break my bones but words will never hurt me."
Oh how I wish that were true. I mentioned in my New Years Resolution to work on "Thinking before I speak"
It's not because I've had some Epiphany that I say stupid and sometimes hurtful things. It's because I myself have been so hurt this past year by words. I mean I could go back years and years really, but they may have a limit as to how much I can write here. However I will share with you that on my 30Th Birthday, I decided to call my Dad and try to re-connect with him. One of the first things he asked me was; "Are you still heavy?" Now keep in mind that when he had last seen me, I was at my all time low since being married. I will never have that body back. Since he said that to me...I've always viewed myself as Heavy...and have let myself be Heavy...and I think I decided that he didn't Love me because I was Heavy. his words have never left me. I had a choir director years ago comment about my voice. She didn't do it in a Helpful manner and I've felt self conscious about it ever since. I've decided that I can't sing. Which is so dang sad, cause I LOVE to sing. I want so much to be on the worship team at church but have this huge fear of needing to "audition" for it. All because of words.
Today, I was hit with some BIG words. I was told by someone that I Love so much that:
*I am a very injured person
*I am manipulative
*I am cruel
*I am hateful
Oh, there was a Lot more said than this. Stuff I can't repeat.
I am having a difficult time recovering from this. I was a victim of Physical Abuse as a child. I have scars inside and out. I've had a Step Mom tell me that she wished I was dead....and then proceed to tell me how I could accomplish it. I thought that I had gotten over all of this. Todays words have stoned my heart. I was accused of being a victim to get sympathy. I'm not a victim any longer. I don't want sympathy. Just your prayers that this relationship will someday heal.

Happy New Year

2009-01-04T19:47:00.000-08:00

(Picture from New Years Eve 2006)

My Friend Delena tagged me to post my New Years Resolutions. I am not allowed to list Losing Weight (which I already started on Dec 1st when I joined Weight Watchers) She also said something about not listing anything about being a better person as well. Seeing how those were 2 big ticket items for me...this took me a little longer to come up with it. But here goes:
1.) Buy myself a Lap top and begin to write my Book. The Book about Me, and My Story. It's for my girls. I've had tugs on my heart to do this for some time, and I just need to do it.
2.) Ride my bike in the Dam to Dam this year. (I will plan on doing the 25 mile race this year)
3.) Write a letter of forgiveness to My Mom. I'm going to send it the old fashioned way too.
4.) Take an Active Role in decreasing our household debt. This is tough, means less shopping at Macy's and less indulgences on my Daughters and Grand kids. But they have so much already.
5.) Try very hard to "Think Before I Speak" If I do say something thoughtless, I will acknowledge it and apologize right away. (This one may be harder than the Macy's)
6.) Clean out my Garage so that a car could fit in there if we wanted it to.
7.) Lose 50 pounds by the end of this Year. (Neener Neener...I put it in here anyhow)
P.S. Only 40 more to go.
Happy New Year guys. I'm glad to call you friends.

Merry Christmas!

2008-12-24T05:58:00.000-08:00

This Holiday Season came upon me so quickly this year. I have enjoyed reading and seeing all the wonderful Family Traditions of my Blogging Friends. My Holiday "Season" has changed and I no longer have my girls at home to do many of our old traditions with. I miss it, but I am also excited to know that our girls still carry on some of those traditions now with their own children. I never made a Gingerbread house because I was not a good Baker. However, I made an Amazing house out of Graham Cracker Cookies a time or two. Every Christmas Eve we would let the girls open at least one present. One gift was Always new Pajamas. My girls would put on their new jammies, bundle up and we would drive around and look at Christmas Lights. My youngest daughter Kristine would still like for us to drive around on Christmas Eve looking at lights. Christmas Eve dinner usually consisted of Pizza. There have been some Christmas Eve's years ago, that we would go visit Dan's Cousin Jim and his family. They always had chili and opened their gifts on Christmas Eve. We were invited to stay, but always insisted on driving home so that the girls could wake up in their own beds. After all, Santa might not know that they were at a different house! We would listen to the Radio singing Christmas songs and listen for updates on Santa's whereabouts. Christmas morning the girls woke up WAY too early and stockings were opened first. Then I would make a Cinnamon Roll Christmas tree (from the kind that you pop out and bake) I would decorate them with green sprinkles. One year I didn't do it and you would have thought the world was going to end! As the years have come and gone (as well as my two oldest daughters) Dan and I have had to adapt our "Traditions". We still open gifts on Christmas Day, and I still do my best to buy new jammies...except NOW I do it for my Grandchildren. This year we are needing to be a bit flexible. We will be blessed to have Jen and Ryan and their 2 children with us. We will probably have our Christmas dinner tonight when they arrive so that they can go to a Family Christmas party in Port Orchard and be with Ryan's extended family tomorrow afternoon. We might make it to the Living Nativity Scene as we did that the last Christmas Eve that they were here 2 years ago. Maybe we will drive by some lights on our way home. It doesn't matter what we do this Christmas Season, it's what we Feel in our hearts. It's the Love that we have for our Family and Friends. It's about God's Love for us.
The last line from the Children's Christmas program this year sums it all up best for me: "SO AS WE CELEBRATE CHRISTMAS, WITH CANDY AND PRESENTS AND MORE. REMEMBER WE HAVE A SAVIOUR, GIVING US LIFE EVERMORE!"

A FACE THIS MIMI CAN LOVE....

2008-12-17T16:10:00.000-08:00

After a long weekend of Children's Christmas Program Dress Rehearsal and 2 performances, Dan, Myself and Kristine headed down I-5 towards Medford. What awaited me was something I could not have dreamed of. I was able to see my Beautiful daughter Jennifer and her precious family. Kara and Curtis were waiting for us to arrive at the church where funeral services were for their dear friend and colleage Ryan Bartlett. Kara was saving a chair for me in the fellowship hall where we had a nice lunch prepared for us by the church there. She had her hand on the chair and said; "This ones for you"
Sigh...my heart was (and is ) so Very happy. Curtis was not feeling well and had been running some high fevers since arriving in the States. After a good nights sleep and some Motrin, he was doing a little better on Tuesday morning. Here they are hanging out with Kristine and I in our Hotel room.

We spent the morning at breakfast playing "I spy with my little eye". It was So much fun. They have these precious British/South African Accents. I've never been to either place, but that's the best I can do to describe it. They experienced a little culture shock after arriving in the States. They have no memory of shopping Malls or escalators and they were Amazed by the Hotel "Lift". The Automatic Doors at the hotel were quite impressive to them as well. Oh, we also learned to not ask them if they need to use the bathroom....it's called the "toilet."
They are being blessed and provided with a house and cars in the Marysville/Arlington area. Krisitne was able to hang out with them a bit today, and Dan will get to see them a bit since he is working and staying in the Seattle area now. I will see them the week of Christmas and as many times as I can before they leave next month. I want to thank all of you for your prayers and support during this trying time. God has blessed us by this little "Gift" of their visit. Have a Great Week!

Bittersweet

2008-12-08T06:55:00.000-08:00

bit·ter·sweet
Pronunciation: \ˈbi-tər-ˌswēt\
Function: noun
Date: 14th century something that is bittersweet ; especially : pleasure alloyed with pain

I am having some guilty feelings about the news that a week from today, I will be able to hold and hug my oldest daughter Jennifer. She will be flying back to the US with her family and Ryan Bartlett's family on Friday to Oregon. Dan, Kristine and I will be meeting them in Medford on Monday for the funeral service. I have moments where I am overcome with Joy and so Thankful to God that he is bringing me what I need. I miss my daughter and her family so much. However, I can't help feeling so sad for them and the circumstances that are bringing them here. I can't bear the thought of Katie Bartlett's pain at losing her husband or the grief of Ryan Bartlett's parents on having lost their son. I know that my heart will be lifted up when I see my Jen, and I know that her heart will be lifted up when she sees me. Giving the gift of myself to hold and nurture my daughter and her family while they are here is going to be a greater gift than what they are giving me...just by their presence. Please continue to pray for for Katie and her girls, as they leave the life they have known, and the Malawian people they had such a heart to serve.

Prayer Request

2008-12-03T18:11:00.000-08:00

Please Lift this family up in prayer including my daughter Jennifer and her husband Ryan Willson as they deal with this traggic loss.

Ryan and Katie Bartlett Free Methodist Missionaries
Africa/Malawi
The Free Methodist family grieves at the tragic death of Ryan Bartlett, missionary to Malawi. Ryan died as a result of injuries sustained in a vehicle accident, Tues., Dec. 2, in Malawi. Ryan and a friend were returning from delivering maize to pastors when the accident occurred. Please be in prayer for Ryan’s wife, Katie, and their three daughters, Anna (age 8), Lydia (age 6), and Ella (age 3). The Bartletts have been in Malawi since May 2007 working to train pastors and leaders at the Great Commission Bible School. Pray for the Malawi FMC and the Malawi ministry family (including Ryan and Jen Willson, along with their children, Curtis and Kara, and short-term missionary Kelsey Lynn) as they deal with this loss and as they are an integral part of the decision-making process.
http://www.teamwithafrica.org/

2008-12-03T06:51:00.001-08:00

Get Myspace Christmas Countdown

THANKFUL TUESDAY

2008-12-02T04:42:00.000-08:00

Dan's cousin Jim and his wife Barb (and Sasha) came to visit us for the Holiday Weekend. We had the best time relaxing with them, and showing them our beautiful Wenatchee Valley.

I am Thankful for Family that comes to visit for a Long Holiday Weekend. We Love and Miss these people very much.

I am Thankful for the ability to have plenty of food, warm shelter and good friends/family to share it with.

I am Thankful for my Daughter Kristine who drove over and spent most of the weekend with us old folk. She is very Special to me, and I Do Thank God Daily for giving her to me 27 years ago.

I am Thankful that I live in such a Beautiful and Diverse area and I can see God's Beauty in every corner.

I am Thankful for the Very inexpensive Electricity that we have in this region and will remember to not take it for granted.

THANKFUL TUESDAY

2008-11-25T14:52:00.000-08:00

Another week has passed, here are 7 more things I am Thankful For:
19) Chad (and all my other Blogger friends)
20) Lab test that help you know what's wrong so you can fix it
21) The Ability to fix what's wrong (Access to Modern Medicine and all that Jazz)
22) My new Down Duvet Comforter
23) Electric Heat that is so cheap you really CAN heat up the entire neighborhood!!
24) Safeway Club Cards and discount Gasoline
25) My Grandson Jacob who is pictured here. He was determined to have his picture taken with this Huge Turkey out at Smallwood a year ago, but was so terrified. I am Thankful for all my Grandkids and that they have been Very Healthy. I just wish they lived closer.
Have a Great Week Y'all!

THANKFUL TUESDAY

2008-11-18T10:55:00.000-08:00

Here are 7 more things that I am Thankful for this Week:
12)My Comfy Bed
13)Crockpots
14)Good Friends and Sushi
15)Paydays
16)Coffee made by Mr. Johnson
17)Instant Messages and texts from my Sister Patty
18)God's Grace

HIGH MAINTENANCE

2008-11-13T09:04:00.000-08:00

Most anyone who knows me knows how much I adore my dog Molly. She was supposed to be MY dog...but she's partial to Dan. (unless he's not there...then I will do just fine) In this picture, you will see that she is sitting on the throw pillows on the couch as well as a blanket. Cause my down feather filled sofa is not Soft enough for her delecate tushie I guess!? She is also sporting one of her 3 new sweaters I found in the dollar section at Target (Lynwood store) I'm sure they have some here as well, but you must know that the dog sweaters were Not $1.00 but were $2.00. Still a great buy. This is more a t-shirt intended for inside wear. As soon as Miss Molly gets her new duds on she becomes even more prissier (if that's even possible)
Anyhow...I must add Molly to my List of things I'm Thankful for.

THANKFUL TUESDAY

2008-11-11T10:21:00.000-08:00

I had made a mental note to myself that I was going to think of something everyday this Month that I was Thankful for and post it on my blog. Time has slipped away from me and we are now on day 11. I see that my friend Delena has already listed some great Thankful things. I've decided to add to my list every Tuesday. So today, I must list 11 things. Here goes:
1)I am Thankful for a Loving hard working Husband
2)For my 3 healthy daughters who know Jesus.
3)For my Job that uses my knowledge and talents.
4)For a comfortable home that really does meet my needs.
5)For some Great Amazing Friends who Love me for who I am.
6)For the opportunity to have traveled this great country and see God's beatuiful creation.
7)For my health and opportunites to be healthier.
8)For a church that allows me to use my talents and desires.
9)For the Internet and other technology that lets me keep in touch with my daughter in Africa.
10) For my Grandchildren and the Opportunity to be Mimi!
11)For my Nephew and other soldiers who served and are serving this Country.

An Apologetic Nature May Lead to the Loss of One's Identity

2008-11-07T13:04:00.000-08:00

I did not write this, but found it on Facebook from a young girl named Lois. I got her permission to share it here. It explains how I feel sometimes, and how absured it is to feel that way.

Can you accept my many apologies?

I’m sorry. I’m sorry. I’m sorry.

I’m just so insecure and everything I say or do seems to need an explanation or a request for forgiveness. Sorry about being so doubtful and self-conscience. Please don’t run away from me.

I promise that I’ll be happy all the time. I promise I won’t worry anymore or focus on myself at all. Just don’t leave me. I really, really need you.

Sorry for being so reliant on you. I know that you might distance yourself from me because of my dependency, but please don’t. I’m very sorry and I’ll stop now.

I’m sorry for talking so much and prying too much and bugging you too much and being so lazy and being too enthusiastic. I have so much guilt. I know it’s unhealthy. Sorry for feeling so guilty all the time.

I’m sorry for anything I ever said that irritated you or hurt your feelings. Maybe I should just stop talking. I would never want to upset you with anything that came out of my mouth. Sorry for never saying the right thing at the right time.

Did I mention how sorry I am for not meeting your expectations? Well, I am. I know I let you down – I let most people down. Sorry for not being perfect. I’m really trying. I promise.

I’m so very, very sorry for being who I am. I know I’m not good enough, and I’m working so hard to fix that. Maybe if I could just take away all my bad qualities – my personality, my habits, my emotions, etc. Become someone new. Leave my sorry self behind.

So sorry.

Feeling Sad

2008-11-06T15:42:00.000-08:00

I have not been able to resolve any of the family issues I've had with my Birth Mom and Siblings. However, I have tried to just give this time and have been going along trying to not make any waves. My Sister Liz had e-mailed me some pretty harse words awhile back and posted a blog on her Myspace page as well expressing how "someone" meaning me, needed to "..Suck it up, forgive and make up, so that everyone else in this family isn't hurting as a result." Her words were honest, and I hold no hard feelings against her for it.
So...for the last couple of months, that is what I've been doing. I've made a few attempts at humor, at sharing silly things in my life etc. I got flowers from my Mom for my Birthday. I sent a Thank you card to her.
Today, out of the blue...I get an e-mail from my Brother Kenny. He tore into me for how I "..callously and proudly chime in as if nothing is wrong or nothing happened."
"..You are either oblivious to the way you treat people or deliberate. Either way, it is intolerable for me."
I have been in tears for the past couple of hours since reading his e-mail. I replied to him and said that it was neither careless Banter or rudeness, but that it was good to know how he sees it. I then sent another e-mail to him letting him know that I felt like I was in a no win situation. If I didn't e-mail, then I was adding to the problem. I am not going to send anymore e-mails. I will read e-mails from my family, but for now I will not write back. (I guess!!) I am so confused.

DEEP IN THE HEART OF TEXAS

2008-10-22T10:42:00.000-07:00

I had the Wonderful pleasure of visiting my dear friends in Dallas this past weekend. It was a Whirlwind trip of Fun, Laughs, Food, and of course Shopping.
My friends Barb and Sharon had come to Washington to suprise me on my Birthday last month and Barb finished off their visit by offering to use her Airline miles to fly me to Dallas so we could all 3 go to the State Fair of Texas again. We went 2 years ago, and if you ask Dan or Kristine, they will tell you that I talk about it all the time. I will upload and post more pictures of our time there later this weekend. But for now, I wanted to let you know how my trip went and have included some pics from my phone.
First, I arrived to DFW about 10 at night and Barb had a hand made sign (a piece of notebook paper written with lipstick) that said "Welcome Pam". I should have known what a hysterical time I was in for. We stayed up until well after 2 am talking in the Hottub and shared a bottle or 3 of wine. Then up the next morning to head to the Huge Fair. This involves a Car ride to the Train and then a Bus ride to the Fairgrounds.

We tried to eat our way thru the Fair for starters. Seems as if they Fry EVERYTHING at the Fair. From Fried Lattes ??? to Fried Snickers, Oreos, Twinkies and even Cheesecake! They also like to batter and deep fry things like Grilled Cheese and PB&J sandwiches as well as Chicken Fried Bacon?! Goodnes. I had None of those items but did have my share of Other greasy foods: Tornado Taters,Onion straws, and a Corn Dog. We went to the L'oreal makeover building and spent almost 2 hours there. (no wise-crack remarks)

Barb and I had gotten brave enough to ride the "Texas Star" but the line was wrapped around the midway and it would have taken forever.
One of the highlights for me is to see "Big Tex". He is an Icon there. Every 15 minutes or so, he Greets Fair-goers. "Howdy Folks...Welcome to the Great State Fair of Texas!" I Love him.

After our long day at the fair we went to this Country Dance Hall that was Huge (as are All things in Texas I hear) Instead of a Disco Ball...there was a Glitter covered Saddle! There was even a Mechanical Bull for people to ride. I was in awe of the entire spectacle, but did not even come close to considering riding it. The dance floor was kind of like a lazy river with people Two-stepping around it. It was just like a scene out of "Urban Cowboy". Sharon's husband called it "Belt Buckle Polishing" Goodness Again.
The following morning we met up with most of the gals from our "Girls Cruise" There were 7 of the 9 of us there as 2 live on the East Coast. We had Brunch at Willhoites which is a Biker Bar and it was So much fun! Barb and I (along with Sharon's Sister Diane) then went to see "Menopause the Musical" I must say that I do not think I have ever laughed so hard in all my life. If you get a chance to see this, you Must. Even if you are not at that...er hummm...Age..you probably KNOW someone who is. They have taken all these oldie songs and changed the words. Such as; "I'm having a Hot flash...a Tropical hot Flash", "Change Change Change" and these lyrics 'It's a sign of the times...when your roots are gray, and your mem'ry's shorter. It's a sign of the times...when your hourglass shape becomes a glass of water.'There was also some Beach Boy song "Good Vibrations" (whatever That means) Anyhow, it was an Awesome Play!
My Trip to Dallas would not have been complete without a Day of Shopping. Where else but Dallas (or E-bay) could you get a Huge purse complete with a Cadillac Emblem on the front. I mean WHO needs a purse like this.

Apparantly someone named Pam from East Wenatchee does. Look for it on my arm as we get closer to Christmas.
I Love Dallas/Texas and keep trying to talk Dan into Retiring there in a few years. It would put me so much closer to those Cruise ships I Love so much. My friends Barb and Sharon found this sign at the fair and I texted it to Dan but he just said "Nice try girls...No way." Oh well. LOL

Thanks for stopping by to check out my less than Dull life. I missed you guys. Come back in a few days to see a link to more pics of the whole trip.

FAMILY WEEKEND

2008-10-11T11:20:00.000-07:00

Dan and I were able to spend a wonderful time visiting with Family last week. My Foster Sister Linda had flown down from Wasila Alaska
("Where Men are Men and Women are Vice President")
She had come to visit her son's grave and see his beautiful new headstone. It's hard to believe that it has been a year since Jonathan was killed.
I took the train over early Saturday morning and Dan picked me up in Everett after he got off of work. We stopped for breakfast and enjoyed the long drive to Raymond. His Aunt Wanda (my oldest Foster Sister) is married to his Daddy's Brother Ernie, hence why he calls them Aunt and Uncle. I just like to throw that in to confuse you all a bit. Dan's Dad has been gone now for over 20 years. It's so awesome to still have Uncle Ernie around to share stories and hear his laughter. I often just enjoy sitting back and watching him as he talks to Dan.

I see this Amazing Family resemblance between the two. Then when you add Ernie's son Jim, and Jim's sons...it's Awesome to see how similar they are. When we finished our over night stay, we then headed to Pe Ell Washington to have a quick visit with Mel and Ben Porter. Melody is my Son in Law's sister. Jen and Ryan are in Africa and being near Mel and Ben and their 2 children is almost like being with Jen and Ryan and our Grand kids. When we walked in the house and I saw Ceeley...I almost cried when I saw how much she looked like Kara did when she left for Africa almost 2 years ago. It's awesome to see the similarities between these cousins.

Jen is very close to Mel and having a cup of coffee with Mel that day was the next best thing to having Jen sitting by me. Dan and I love this family very much!
It was a Wonderful Weekend of Hugs, Laughter and a Warm Sense of "Family". It doesn't matter if it's a Family by Marriage, by Blood, I'm so Thankful to have all of them in my Life.
I've posted some pictures of our visit with Both families here.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY MELISSA

2008-10-03T16:10:00.000-07:00

ENJOY YOUR "PAMPER ME" SPA DAY!!
MOMMY AND DADDY LOVE YOU VERY MUCH.

BIRTHDAY WISH (THANK YOU RYAN)

2008-10-03T05:42:00.000-07:00

The following is an e-mail I received from my Son in law Ryan. I read it at first and thought it was sweet of him to send me a Birthday greeting. But then I read it again, and again. The words penitrated my heart and mind and soul. I just had to share. (with his Blessing)

Dear Pam,

Since the beginning of creation, God planned to bring a special person into the world. Adam and Eve were special people, but He even had a greater plan! That plan would include creating another person – a person who was unique unlike any other person on this earth.

Just as a potter forms and shapes the clay to make a beautiful pot, God began to shape this person. First he began on the inside of the person. He created that person with a heart that would love others by implanting within them the spiritual gift of giving. He continued His work by knitting ever so carefully making sure His design was one that could not be duplicated.

Though there are bound to be struggles in the life of humans, we can be encouraged because God watches His creation and cares for it. He has sculpted and watched his creation grow from conception to birth. At times the creator’s hand is so gentle and you can’t even feel it. But He has been there, preparing you for the life you would live even before you lived one day!

Every bone in the body had the touch of the master’s hand. On September 28th, 1958 Pamela Kay was born! Bit by bit you were sculpted from nothing into something wonderful! As David said in Psalm 139 “I thank you, High God-you’re breathtaking! Body and Soul, I am marvelously made! I worship in adoration-what a creation!

Happy birthday Pam! You were fearfully and wonderfully made! May God bless you on this special day!

Love,

Ryan

2008-10-01T14:35:00.000-07:00

The Big Day finally came and went. I made it through with flying colors and the Help of a Few Wonderful Friends and Family. Who am I kidding. My Friends ARE my Family. Here is a link to more Birthday Pictures.It started with a Great night out with my buddies Delena and Chad (and an AMAZING card.) They knew that I was feeling a bit blue about my Birthday and No idea of any plans from my Dan. Then at work on Friday, my desk was decorated and constantly covered in precious cards and gifts. At lunch time however, they brought out all the Over the Hill stuff. Still, the cake was great and knowing I was loved by my co-workers was awesome. I was to join a few co-workers after work, but that all changed when I walked in my house.

I had 3 friends from Dallas who flew out her to surprise me. Seems my husband Dan, and Daughter Kristine had a GREAT time keeping me in suspense. (As did my co-workers and friends) We went to dinner at my favorite restaurant downtown. “The Smoke Blossom” . Then off to our Time share/Condo up at Desert Canyon. Kristine had packed all my clothes, shopped for groceries and had taken it all up there through out the day. We walked in to a fully stocked Vacation paradise. We were to be up there for 4 nights. Doug and Delena were up there the same time as us so we got to hang out together while Doug golfed with the guys on Saturday. Us girls just hung out, did lunch etc. The next day, we were going to go to Brunch in Chelan. But instead, a Limo showed up to take us on a Wine tour. It was a beautiful perfect day. Four friends from work showed up and joined us in the Limo also.
I was so surprised by the entire weekend. When the day was done, we arrived back at the Timeshare and there was surprise Birthday/Dinner party for me also. A few more unexpected guest arrived and there were gifts to be opened too! On Sunday, the girls and I went into Leavenworth and the guys went golfing again. I am so sorry for all my complaining and doubting that my Dan would come through. I was told several times that he reads this blog. (oops) So I must remember to not bash him too badly. If you see him, give him a hug from me. He really is My Prince Charming.

MIDDLE AGE

2008-09-25T12:00:00.000-07:00

Wikipedia definition of Middle Age:

Middle age is the period of life beyond young adulthood but before the onset of old age. Various attempts have been made to define this age, which is around the third quarter of the average life span of human beings. According to Collins Dictionary, this is "... usually considered to occur approximately between the ages of 40 and 60", (DOES THIS MEAN 50?) The OED gives a similar definition but with a later start point "... the period between youth and old age, about 45 to 60." The US Census lists middle age as including both the age categories 35 to 44 and 45 to 54. Erik Erikson sees it ending a little later and defines middle adulthood as between 40 and 65.

In many Western societies this is seen to be the period of life in which a person is expected to have settled down (NEVER!) in terms of their sense of identity and place in the world, be raising a family, and have established career stability. It is also a period often associated with the potential onset of mid-life crisis. (NOT ME)

Health- Middle aged adults often show visible signs of aging such as loss of skin elasticity age. (UGH aka WRINKLES!) and graying of the hair. (GOD BLESS HAIR DYE) Physical fitness usually wanes, with a 5-10 kg (10-20 lb) (OR MORE!) accumulation of body fat, reduction in aerobic performance and a decrease in maximal heart rate. Strength and flexibility also decrease throughout middle age. (GOOD LORD!) However, people age at different rates and there can be large differences between individuals of the same
Female fertility declines significantly after age 40, and an advanced maternal age increases the risk of a child being born with some disorders such as Down's Syndrome. Some conditions are also correlated with advanced paternal age. Most women go through the menopause, which ends natural fertility, in their late 40s or 50s.(GOTTA LOVE MANOPAUSE)

In developed countries, yearly mortality begins to increase from age 40 onwards, mainly due to age-related health problems such as heart disease and cancer. However, the majority of middle-aged people in industrialized nations can expect to live into old age. Life expectancy in developing countries is much lower and the risk of death at all ages is higher.

Positive Aging-(CAN YOU SAY OXY-MORON?) Some people challenge the concept that middle age is something to dread. They assert that with the right attitude and careful planning, middle age can be truly a person's best years. (YIPPEE!!) Those age-positive groups range from advocacy groups such as the American Association of Retired Persons (AARP) to purely social clubs like the Red Hat Society. (SO DOES THIS MEAN I GET TO CHOOSE TO JOIN EITHER THE AARP "OR" THE RED HATS?)

A GOOD WOMAN

2008-09-17T13:41:00.000-07:00

A Good Woman

A good woman is proud.
She respects herself and others.
She is aware of who she is.
She neither seeks definition from the person she is with,
nor does she expect them to read her mind.
She is quite capable of articulating her needs.
A good woman is hopeful.
She is strong enough to make all her dreams come true.
She knows love, therefore she gives love.
She recognizes that her love has great value and must be reciprocated.
If her love is taken for granted, it soon disappears.
A good woman has a dash of inspiration and a dabble of endurance.
She knows that she will at times have to inspire others
to reach the potential God gave them.
A good woman knows her past, understands her present
and forces toward the future.
A good woman knows God.
She knows that with God the world is her playground,
but without God she will just be played with.
A good woman does not live in fear of the future because of her past.
Instead, she understands that her life experiences are merely lessons meant to bring her closer to self-knowledge and unconditional self-love...

(I FOUND THIS POST IN AN OLD BLOG FROM MY CRAZY SISTER LIZ WHO HAS BEEN WRITING SUCH AWFUL THINGS ABOUT ME, AND TO ME ALL THE WHILE TELLING ME HOW I NEED TO SUCK IT UP AND MOVE ON)
I STIL LIKE THE POST AND AM HAPPY I FOUND IT.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY RYAN!

2008-09-16T06:45:00.002-07:00

Today is my Son in law Ryan's Birthday. Not long after they arrived in Malawi, he had the opportunity to pray for a pregnant woman who was very ill. He and Jen both did and the woman recovered and delivered a healthy baby boy. Ryan was then asked to name the baby. This is a Huge Honor in their country. Ryan gave it much prayer and counsel and named the baby David. It was one of my proudest moments. You can read the full story on their webpage. It was in their March 2007 newsletter.
Flamingwaters.org

LONG WINDED...SO SORRY BUT I JUST HAD TO WRITE IT

2008-09-14T14:44:00.000-07:00

Where do I even start? Last Jan we had our annual family reunion in Vegas with my Birth Mom and siblings. The Vegas reunions are not always the Best Venue to try and get a group of siblings that didn't grow up together to get to know each other. However, I have tried to address this with my Birth Mom Alice in the past and it has always led to her feelings being hurt. So then we kiss and make up (Cyber e-mail style) and I am so desperate to be Loved that I ignore my pain and trudge on. This last reunion I barely walk in and I'm eating a burger that my brother and I got at the drive thru (In N Out) and she asks me "Are you ok?" She ALWAYS ask me that. (it's like she wants to know that I'm ok so that she can feel ok) It ends up ME reassuring her that I'm ok and she's ok and we are just a happy hunky dory famiy. I just want to pretend that it's ok....don't keep asking me or I'm liable to be honest...and she doesn't like my honesty. Anyhow...she had a pouting moment about me not telling her what was wrong...and at some point of the conversation I said to her "We're fine Alice. I don't know how to be a daughter any more than you know how to be a Mother." It was me being honest and trying to let her know that I'm ok with how things are. It is what it is. She was hurt and asked me to Stop and leave the room. I felt bad right away because it was apparant that she didn't understand that I was giving her a "get out of jail free card" I don't expect more from her. This is as good as it gets. It's a bonus to me and I was ok with it.
I blogged about it on Myspace a week or so later. My Sister Liz's boyfriend had been a little too comfortable razzing me and picking on me like he was a brother of mine for the past 49 years. I held my tongue, had a good time and let it go. When I said my goodbyes, I even hugged him. It wasn't until after I was home that I learned how my Sister and him were braggin about how they really let me have it "They showed me" So I was hurt....and disappointed. I blogged about being both a dissapointment to others vs being disappointed By others. It's a blog. Not an e-mail to anyone in particutlar. My Sister Liz commented on my blog even.
All was fine and I just have been flying under the radar with all of my Family until I did this Camp thing. They wanted to do an article on me because I was a foster kid being a counselor to foster kids. A good story about how I turned out ok. How these kids can turn out ok. But....Because I mentioned my Foster Mom and how much I loved her...My Mom had a shit coniption fit. She messaged me about how could I blog about such a personal thing...how could I tell everyone...I need to know that she reads these things too....it's not her fault...she loved me and that's all she can do....she's done her best etc etc. I was flabbergasted that she would bring up a blog from over 6 months ago. But the more I thought about it...I realized that it was because I mentioned my Foster Mom. My sister Liz(with the boyfriend who hates me) even commented on my Blog that I should have not went on and on about my Foster Mom. How I need to not say any good things that have happened to me so as to not offend my Birth Mom.
I was hurt beyond words and decided to take an Alice BREAK. This break has just gotten out of hand. Alice just wrote a Myspace blog (keep in mind that I've written NOTHING bad about her EVER) I can't think of a time that I EVER said anything bad about her to ANYONE. I am private about it. I didn't even answer the questions from the camp for a long time as I wanted to protect Alice and be selective of the words I used.

Didn't matter to her. Didn't matter to her that I NEVER not one time asked her WHY she left me and didn't fight for me. Not ONE time did I ever ask her why she never got ahold of me from the time I was an adult and she could (she had a relationship with Liz and Patty for 8 years before Kenny came along and we all met) I feel that if it were not for my brother Kenny...she Still would not have anything to do with me. It was about another year before we learned of my Siste Kim. Another year of lies. She was not strong enough or confident enough. But "I" was to be strong enough and confident enough to let all these people in my life. I was to never question Alice about anything. From the first day I met her I discovered that I needed to reassure this Woman and let her know that she was loved. I had to instantly make a decision to Love her all the while not 100% sure if she loved me or was just going thru the motions to ease her guilt. It didn't matter to me. I could have backed out of this relationship with her and the rest of my siblings, but I didn't. I continued with this relationship and gave as much as I could. You see...I didn't have much of a Rosy time growing up myself. I knew that Mrs. Duckworth Loved me and that Jesus Loved me. But that was at age 12. Before then...it was a living Hell to be Pamela Kay Gaughenbaugh. The childhood I had has led to insecurities and self doubt, and hurt and feeling Alone, ugly and unwanted.
But I've come out on top despite it all. I've NEVER placed blame on my circumstances either.
So my Mom posted her OWN blog on Myspace and my Sister Liz Responded..here it is:
(Since my Sister Liz posted her comment to my Mom...my Mom deleted it, but NOT before I was able to read it)
Saturday, September 13, 2008

My words were "you hurt me" and you deleted me ?? Cold!
Current mood: blessed
Category: Romance and Relationships

My words were " are you Ok"" your resonse was to get in my face and shout "of course I am, thats insulting". 'Why would you ask if I'm ok".
My words were "thats what moms do?"
Your response " you dont know how to be a mom any more then I know how to be a daughter" I didnt get the manual".
Hurt extreme and deep. I can say I love you and my ententions are always good and loving. Doesnt seem to matter.
Your willingness to delete me from your life almost completely strikes me as cold and cruel on many levels.
You probably wont hear these words, because you've deleted me. No matter. they need to be written.
I never "agreed" it was best to give you up.
Never. I wasn't given a choice. They didnt have sysytems for abused moms back then.
You were ripped from my arms, both of us screaming. All the while I was being pummled about the face and in sheer terror.
I was locked in a room while your grandparents came to drive you away.
I was dropped off downtown with three dollars in my pocket.
Every teenage decision I made from then on only solidified my loss. In the end they convinced me it was for the better.Not that I had a choice,they didnt give children to teenagers back then.
You learned nothing about the Love of christ and his forgiveness and tolerance.
You're a cruel woman who wouldnt allow your mom to ask "are you ok"?
Who said almost proudly, "even my daughters knew better then to ask me that". SICK!!!
Then to cap it off, you decided to share it all with the world and all your work and church friends.
Saying I had objected to your volunteer work ??? hello
I told you I was proud of that. I was. What happened between us had nothing to do with that.
Its Ok. I can handle it now. Take your break. Dont hurt anyone else.
Try to be happy without pretending.
You have a good family and a great man.
Im glad about that and yes I do love you.
Doesnt matter does it? I feel safer this way.
Jesus and I forgive you. You need to work on that.8:39 AM - 2 Comments - 2 Kudos - Add Comment -

ღஜDizzie Lizzieஜღ

Glad you wrote this down. It helps to write it out.

I understand your pain and frustration. She constantly demands affirmation of our love, yet is not willing to give any affirmation of her love to us. Ever. !

She acted like a spoiled demanding and extremely rude brat in Vegas, showing absolutly no respect to the man I love. And then made me out to be the bad guy when I didn't stick up for her when she got in his face and he stood up to her. As if she would stick up for me, if I was being rude and disrespectful to Dan??? I don't think so!

I tried to NICELY tell her that she needed to understand that you were hurt and why, and to put herself in your shoes. I told her I wasn't upset at her or anything. I was just looking from the outside and could see both sides. In response, her friend basically told me off...her "Christian" friend (choke)...Bnd did she say "Hey that's my sister you're talking about!"? Of course not! Because it's all about her. We need to defend her. We need to love her. We need to lavish her with affection and attention. But she doesn't have to do anything. And if we don't do these things, she becomes the poor wounded child, and we are the monsters.

I personally stopped having one-sided relationships the day I left Lynden. They are draining, unfulfilling, and like pouring acid on your self-esteem. I have no intentions of ever having one again. I love her and I'm here whenever she wants to "share" a relationship with me.

We all made bad mistakes and choices when we were young. None of us can go back a change anything. The only thing that matters is who we are today. And you are a wonderful, loving mom. I can't imagine my life without you now.

I LOVE YOU TONS!!!!

Posted by ღஜDizzie Lizzieஜღ on Sep 13, 2008 10:39 AM
[Reply to this]

ღஜDizzie Lizzieஜღ

I guess I got a little carried away. Once I started typing I just couldn't stop running at the "fingers". ha ha ...You can delete my comment if you want! :D

Posted by ღஜDizzie Lizzieஜღ on Sep 13, 2008 11:29 AM
[Reply to this]

As far as my Sister Liz and her boyfriend...I never Yelled at her or her boyfriend. I never got in anyones face. I was not rude. I never yelled at my Mom either. It's not my style.
So..there you have it.

Oh there IS one more thing. My daughter Melissa was hurt my my Mom's blog and she sent my Mom a comment. My Mom deleted her from being her friend on Myspace. She deleted Dan and HE never said Anything!!

PAMOLOGY

2008-09-12T19:32:00.000-07:00

Let others know a little more about yourself, re-post this as your name
followed by "ology"

**FOODOLOGY**
What is your salad dressing of choice?
BLUE CHEESE

What is your favorite sit-down restaurant?
McCORMICK AND SCHMICK'S SEATTLE WATERFRONT

What food could you eat every day for two weeks and not get sick of?
AVOCADO

What are your pizza toppings of choice?
PEPPERONI AND CHEESE

What do you like to put on your toast?
BUTTER AND SESAME SEED BUTTER AND MARMALADE ALL TOGETHER

**TECHNOLOGY**
What is your wallpaper on your computer?
DEFAULT MICROSOFT TULIPS FOR NOW (COMPUTER CRASHED THE OTHER DAY)

How many televisions are in your house?
2

What color cell phone do you have?
SILVER PHONE WITH A PINK COVER

*BIOLOGY*
Are you right-handed or left-handed?
RIGHT

Have you ever had anything removed from your body?
3 CHILDREN AND THE UNIT THAT HOUSED THEM

What is the last heavy item you lifted?
WEIGHTS AT THE GYM

Have you ever been knocked unconscious?
NOT SURE, BUT HAD THE WIND KNOCKED OUT OF ME (BAD MEMORY)

*BULLCRAPOLOGY*
If it were possible, would you want to know the day you were going to die?
I THINK SO.

If you could change your name, what would you change it to?
RANDOM..CATHERINE OR KATHERINE (KAT, KATHY)

Would you drink an entire bottle of hot sauce for $1000?
NO

*DUMBOLOGY*
How many pairs of flip flops do you own?
3 I THINK

Last time you had a run-in with the cops?
I DID "NOT" RUN HIM OVER....

What did you want to be when you grew up?
A TEACHER

Last person you talked to?
MY DAUGHTER MELISSA

Last person you hugged?
DELENA LAST NIGHT

*FAVORITOLOGY*
Season?
SUMMER

Holiday?
CHRISTMAS

Day of the week?
SATURDAY

*CURRENTOLOGY*
Missing someone?
FOR SURE!!

Mood?
PLEASED

Listening to?
SILENCE AND ME TYPING

Watching?
THE LETTERS AS I TYPE

Worrying about?
MY FAMILY

*RANDOMOLOGY*
First place you went this morning?
WORK

What can you not wait to do?
GET THIS DANG BIRTHDAY OVER WITH

What's the last movie you saw?
THE BOURNE ULTIMATUM WAS ON CABLE

Do you smile often?
I THINK SO =o)

A DAY OF MEMORIES...

2008-09-11T09:20:00.000-07:00

I have a usual routine in the mornings that includes coffee, King 5 news and then the Today Show. In fact, I'm kind of sad on Saturdays for a few minutes when I remember that the Today show is not on. This morning, Dan got up before me (thanks to our precious but annoying dog Miss Molly) and he was out on the couch already watching the news. I sat down next to him and then heard Katie Courics voice. I really really miss her. He was watching a special on MSNBC about the 9/11 tragedy 7 years ago. It was the Live real time feed of what transpired 7 years ago today. As I was sitting there reliving the horrors of that moment, I was instead taken back to Sept 10th 2001. You see, my Foster Mom had passed away that evening. I had cried myself to sleep that night only to wake up to further sadness and tears on 9/11. When my Foster Mom passed away, I just felt like my world had ended.

She was the only person who ever loved me just for Me. Not because she HAD to. She just did. She was the one person who I could tell ANYTHING to. She did not judge me even though she was a Pastor, and even though she was my Mom. She'd say "I know that you will do the right thing." She was a Praying Woman too. She would hang up the phone from talking to someone after saying "I'll pray for you." and then walk thru the house holding her Bible in the air and just pray outloud. I still to date have not met anyone who could pray like her. She had enourmous strength. (Physical, Spiritual, and Emotional)
As the family gathered together over the next few days for her Funeral, we talked about how she must have been needed up in heaven to help take care of those who perished in the attacks on our Country that day. She had always talked about being a Missionary and pictured herself helping those in need. I Love the visual of her in heaven surrounded by those who joined her. I can only imagine how proud she would be of my Daughter Jennifer as she is a Missionary with her Husband in Malawi Africa.
As I was looking for any scanned pictures of her that myself, or my Foster Sister had, I could only find pictures of her that included my Nephew Jonathon. But when I think about it though...it's not so odd. Because it was at her funeral, that my nephew decided to join the Army. He knew that our Country had been attacked and he wanted to defend it at any cost. Jonathon surivived 2 Tours of Iraq only to be killed in a Motorcycle accident on Sept 27th of last year. It makes me happy to picture the 2 of them together again in Heaven. I am sad...but happy. So I guess that makes me Sappy?
(Poor Dan) Thanks for your Friendship guys.

WELCOME TO MY PITY PARTY

2008-09-09T15:27:00.000-07:00

Years ago, one of my best friends daughter's was having a rough time as a teen. She had cried on my shoulder because she knew I Loved her and would be honest with her. She was going on and on about how awful her life was and said "It sucks to be me!" My response was not at all what she expected. I totally went off on her and told her to NEVER say that again. I told her how much she was loved by her family, and friends, and God. It was many years ago, and since then her life has traveled down many different roads. She is now a Mother to 2 beautiful children and seems to be in a good stable relationship. She is working at something she Loves. Her life is not perfect, but it IS Wonderful.
I can't tell you how many times this past Month or so I have said out loud; "It sucks to be me." I'm feeling bad about it right now so no lectures please. LOL
I know it's not true, I am blessed beyond measure. I'm just having issues with all that has transpired this past year. I miss my daughter in Africa, the One in Omaha, and I am frustrated with the Life my precious Kristine is living right now. (She's ok, and not too far away and we remain close...but things are not ideal)
I miss my Grandkids who all live hundreds of miles away. I miss My Nephew who passed away last Sept and Grandpa George who passed away this Summer. I miss my old friends in Snohomish and Marysville and am sad that I've not made an equal number of close friends here in Wenatchee. I'm sad that I have been blessed with a job that I hate. I'm sad oh so very sad that I'm not able to have a relationship with My Mom and my siblings like I'd like to have. In fact, I can't have a relationship with my Mom at all. I hurt much easier than I've ever let on. People have always viewed me as the Strong one, but it's not true at all. I CAN be strong if needed. But in reality, I just want to curl up and cry. However, I have the strength from God to get up and do what I have to do. I am learning to lean on him.
The biggest thing is that I am turning 50 this year, this MONTH!!!!!! OMG.
I can't believe it. My husband is planning nothing. I KNOW he is not planning anything becuase he keeps going on and on about how the Girls Cruise I went on was my Birthday present. He gets angry in fact when I mention about how nice it was of me to let HIM and his friends use our Time share in Palm Springs to go Golfing that same week I was on a cruise. Also...my dear friend Delena is planning a romantic get away that very weekend of my Birthday. At first I was so happy for her (still am) Then I was sad that Dan really isn't doing anything. My daughters are not here to help or encourage him to plan anything. I'm so bummed about it. Bummed to the point of being pissed. Silly I know. I think it's not about the Party really (or lack thereof) I think it's because I'm turning 50 and there are so many things I wanted to do by this time in my life.
I'm gaining weight instead of loosing it. I'm getting more Bitchy instead of more tolerant, and I have chickend out of doing the Dam to Dam race. I mean I'm scared to do it. Afraid I will have to get off of my bike and walk it while EVERYone walks past me. I can't face it. I'm also afraid of falling off. Keep in mind that I've NEVER fallen off my bike yet...but I've also not ridden on an open rode like that.
So here I am....deciding to create my own party and you are all Invited.
My Pity Party has Started!
(It will end soon so don't worry too much)

THE "QUEEN MINI MIMI" CLUB

2008-08-29T13:18:00.000-07:00

MY NEW BOB...

KASEY AND HER BOB AND ME AND MY BOB....

MORE BOB'S THAN YOU CARE TO SHAKE A STICK AT....

KASEY
KENNEDI
ESTELLA
(You Might remember these girls from our Tea Party earlier this Summer) I think they are adorable. Probably the only time in their lives that they will want to look like a 50 year old Grandmother of 5!

SUMMER READING

2008-08-18T12:25:00.000-07:00

I have just finished reading 2 books and am on my 3rd this month. I Love to read and forgot how much of an escape and mini vacation it feels like. The first book I read was Darkness at Dawn by Darrell and Sherri Beebe. I had the pleasure of hearing her share their story a few years ago a the Northwest Women's confrence. The timing of their visit and then reading about forgiveness was perfect.
The second book I read was 90 minutes in heaven. It is also a true story about a man who recounts his journey from being pronounced dead in a horrific car accident, his time in heaven, and his recovery. I was touched so much by both stories. I don't know anyone who's life would not be affected by either book.
The last book I'm reading is just a good old fashioned Summer read. I LOVE Daniel Steel Books. The latest one is Safe Harbor You have NO idea how excited I am to find out that it is coming out on DVD. It's a story about "Learning to Love again". Just an Amazing story that deals with Grief, forgivenss and some Romance I'm sure. I am only 1/4 of the way into it, but can tell that's where it's going.

QUESTIONS ANSWERED

2008-08-12T13:17:00.001-07:00

So I finally finished answering the Questions for the Royal Family Kids Camp Newsletter. It took me forever because I had such Drama with my Birth Mom and I felt like I really needed to take my time. My Mom's response/reaction to all of this really hurt me to the core. I am not one to hurt on purpose and I am trying to learn to choose my words carefully. I am still sad that I have hurt my Mom by anything I've said or done. But I'm even sadder that she seems to withdraw herself and ends up rejecting me yet again, anytime I say or do something that upsets her. It seems as if our entire relationship (14 years) I have been the one telling her that "It's ok" I am always reassuring her that I don't have anger or regrets towards her for giving me up. My Foster Parents and extended family/friends did such a good job of making me feel Loved that I didn't have any Holes that needed to be filled by My Mom. Getting to know her has been a bonus and mostly a Joy. I just wish she could be happy that there Were some wonderful people in my life. Everything that Does NOT involve my Foster Parents, was a living Hell.
Here are the answers I e-mailed to Julie at Royal Family Kids Camp:

1)How old were you when you were placed in a foster home?/2)Was it because of abuse and/or neglect, or both?
I was about 2 years old when I was first placed in a Foster Home. My parents divorced and my Mom gave up Custody to my Dad. There were 3 of us under 3 years of age! This was a huge burden for both him and his parents and we ended up in 2 separate foster homes. My Sisters were eventually adopted by the foster parents they lived with. My Dad took me back to live with him after he remarried (I was about 4 years old). I was physically abused by my Step Mom and sometimes my Dad. I feared that my Step Mom would succeed in killing me and I ran away at age 9. I was placed in Maclaren Hall (a State run home in California) and went back and forth between several foster homes before ending up with Mr and Mrs Duckworth. Mrs. Duckworth was a penticostal minister at a small church in Southern California. This was the first church I had ever attended and the first time that I ever heard who Jesus was.

3)How long did you remain in foster homes? I was in foster homes until I graduated from High School. I went back to Maclaren Hall a few times and I even went back to live with my Dad and Step Mom for a short time as well. The state of California also tried to get me back with my family and sent me with one of my Aunts. However, this did not work out well for their already stressful family and I was was placed back in yet another foster home after just a few short months. I spoke to my social worker and asked her if I was going to be with a foster family, could I go back to live with the Duckworths and she was able to work this out for me and in fact, they got a new license that was only good for 1 child, Me!

4)You said you met your husband in a foster home – was he a foster child in that home, as well? My husband is the nephew of my oldest foster sister Wanda. (sounds crazy I know) My foster parents were quite a bit older and had Grandkids my age. Wanda’s Mother in law lived near us and I met Dan and his sister when I was only 12 years old. We enjoyed many summers together when his Aunt and Uncle came to California from Washington for a visit. Over the years, our friendship grew and we fell in Love and married at ages 18 and 20.

5)Was it the same foster parents that you lived with then that your daughters call “Grandma” and “Grandpa”? Mr. and Mrs. Duckworth were always there for me even my senior year of high school when I was rebellious and ended up in yet another foster home due to some bad choices on my part. They were so happy that Dan and I continued our relationship and got married. She knew that God had planned that for me. My girls referred to them as Grandma and Grandpa Duck! (the Duckworths have both since passed away)

6)What did your daughter’s think about you going? My 3 daughters are all grown and were very excited that Dan and I participated in RFKC. They are already asking us if we will do this again. (Yes)

7)Do you work outside the home? If so, was it hard to get the time off to attend camp? I was a little stressed about this as I didn’t really have much saved paid time off. I was able to be off and God still worked out my finances and all my bills were paid with money left over.

8)How long have you attended your church? My husband Dan and I have been attending WFA for a little over 4 years.

9)When did you first learn about RFKC? I recall reading about it almost 5 years ago. I think our former church Snohomish First Assembly did something to help with it a few years back. At least the name was familiar to me. Our church here in Wenatchee announced that we were going to do this several months ago.

10)Did you immediately want to go or did it take some time to make the decision? By the time Dan and I walked out to work at the welcome center, I think we both knew. I wasn’t sure what to say to Dan about my desire, but to my surprise he beat me to it. “I think I need to do this.” He said. I was so happy because he didn’t say that he thought “I” needed to do it, or that “We” needed to do it. God had put the desire in his “Own” heart. This was all the confirmation I needed

11)Was this your first year going? Yes.

12)Did you form a bond with your campers?/13)Do you have anything you could share, as far as something special that happened between you and them (or one of them)? I was assigned 2 young girls and my counselor buddy had 2 very young girls also. We had 2 six year olds, and a 7 and 8 year old. Since they were so young, we did everything together as a group. Our cabin was the “Owl perch” so we called ourselves the Night owls. As we would walk along to the various activities, some of the youngest ones would wander off a bit. I’d yell out “night owls!” and they would holler back “whooo-hoooo!” (to sound like owls) This way we knew were they were. They really enjoyed belonging to a group. They enjoyed the sense of “Belonging”

1)Did your campers know that you had been a foster child? If so, how did they respond to that? At one 30/30 session, I did bring it up. I wanted to let them know that I had been in foster homes from a young age. I wanted them to know that I understood how they might feel, and I let them know how I always knew that God loved me and was with me. Our camp bible verse was ‘Nothing can ever separate us from his Love’ Romans 8:38. I am living testimony of this. My Foster Mom Mrs. Duckworth used to tell me that God would be my Mother, my Father, my Sister, and my Brother. I wanted them to know how true this was.

15)Will you consider being a Counselor again next year, or is there another role you would consider? I would like to be a counselor again. I was asked about being the camp nurse, but I feel that I can be a nurse every day I work. I had an amazing wonderful life changing time.

16)What was the best part about being a Counselor? The hardest? The best moment of camp was when we were walking though the meadow to a “surprise” for the group of girl campers. When we came around the corner and saw that there were 2 horses for them to ride, their squeals of delight nearly burst my eardrums (and my heart) The hardest part of camp was saying Goodbye.

FOTO FRIDAY

2008-08-08T06:01:00.000-07:00

TREE MONKEYS I SPOTTED AT WALLA WALLA PARK DURING THE CHURCH SOFTBALL TEAM END OF YEAR BBQ...
DAVID, OLIVIA, AND JACOB

TEA WITH QUEEN MIMI

2008-08-05T08:55:00.000-07:00

Last Saturuday I was pleased to Co-Host a Tea Party at my house with my Oldest Grandaughter Kasey. She is visiting me from Omaha and we usually try to do some "Girl Day" while she is here each Summer. It was a perfect sunny day and we invited 4 young girls to join us. Delena's girls Brooklyn and Maddie along with my Co-workers daughter Kennedi and my friend Deb's daughter Estela.

The table was set when they arrived and we enjoyed a light lunch of little sandwhiches, mini cupcakes, scones, hand dipped chocholate covered cherries, fruit/veggie tray and cheese and crackers. Of course, Tea and fruit punch as well. We played a couple of games

(kiss the frog was one) and did some crafts.

We have decided to make this an annual activity. Tea with the Queen!

Go Away!

2008-08-04T14:36:00.000-07:00

Do NOT click on this Link Pretty Please!!!
I saw it Second...Melissa of Just Me saw it first. A Dual to the Finish. Heavy Sigh. My heart seriously went Pitter Patter when I saw this. Oh EM Gee! But this is An Amazing Handbag.

Arte y Pico

2008-08-02T09:09:00.000-07:00

Melissa of Just Me gave me this beautiful award a couple of weeks ago. I was very surprised an flattered to receive it. I have enjoyed getting to know her thru my friend Delena. She is an Amazing Mom, and I look forward to a growing friendship. Thank you Melissa, for the Award, and for your Kind Words.

Here are the rules of the award:

1) Pick five (5) blogs that you consider deserve this award for their creativity, design, interesting material, and also for contributing to the blogging community, no matter what language.

2) Each award has to have the name of the author and also a link to his or her blog to be visited by everyone.

3) Each award winner has to show the award and put the name and link to the blog that has given her or him the award itself.

4) Award-winner and the one who has given the prize have to show the link of “Arte y Pico” blog, so everyone will know the origin of this award which is here: Arte y Pico

My choices for this round of the Arte y Pico award are:

1)Dawn. It is thru her that I first learned about this blog world and thru her blog that I have grown to appreciate where I am at in my own journey. Thank you Dawn for your inspiration and friendship. Her Blog is full of wonderful Stories of her family and some Amazing Photography.

2)Delena. She was my first friend when I moved to Wenatchee. Her Sister will introduce me as the gal who is more like Delena’s Sister than she is. Not true, but a compliment just the same. Delena’s blog is honest and funny. Just like her.

3)Chad. I had the pleasure of helping Chad find his way to the Blog world and what an awesome addition he has been. I enjoyed getting to know him a little better when we did Royal Family Kids Camp together. I teased him about his Blog being a little “Too Churchy” but I was just joking. I Love it. Visit his site and pass it on to some wonderful Godly single woman!

4)Darcie. She is Dawns Sister and I enjoy visiting her Blog to catch up on what is going on in her life. She also takes some Amazing Photographs as well. I smile everytime I visist her Blog because she reminds me of a much much younger Me.

5) Jackie. I am not even sure how I came upon this Blog, but I am so glad I did. She lost her husband in March of this year and has been dealing with all the loss and pain that goes with it. Her writings have helped me much more than my occasional comment has helped her. She has reminded me what is Important. I will continue to keep her in my prayers and ask that you do the same.

RESTLESS

2008-08-01T04:21:00.000-07:00

I had a very tough nights sleep. No not because the little guy was up sick again. I just had too much on my mind. I had shared with a few of you how Dan and I were counselors for a week at a Royal Family Kids Camp in June. It's a camp for Foster kids. Anyhow, I was a Foster Kid my whole childhood just about. I really felt that I had something to offer and was suprised to find out how much I really took away. I shared briefly with the kids that I also was a Foster child and that I knew a little of how they felt. When I got back, I visited the website of RFKC and ordered their free book "Memories Matter". During the interview process for Camp, one of the Questions I was asked was "What kind of Memories will you share?" I was really taken aback by this one. I couldn't think of ANY memories worth sharing and then said "Well only the Good ones!" This was the correct answer I suppose and I was selected. But it got me thinking. I don't really have any fun fond childhood memories. I started to sit down and write down what I could remember and have decided to put it out there one day for my kids to read. They have always asked for it, but I want to protect them so I had not. But I got to thinking of how I'm not really ashamed of my Life. My life and all it's steps were ordained by God. He was with me thru all the Bad things and all the fun things (There ARE a few moments)
Anyhow, after I got the book fro RFKC, I e-mailed them about how I appreciated their quick response. I also mentined to them how I had been a Foster kids and that Dan and I had just been at camp and how blessed we were. I got several e-mails back thanking me for my time at camp, and also for Sharing my story. Then I got another e-mail 2 weeks ago asking if they could share my testimony in their Newsletter. I agreed without even giving it much thought and have been working thru some questions they sent me. I have been kind of excited about this whole thing as it seemd like confirmation to me that I SHOULD write my Story, and share it. I don't expect to make any big bucks if it's published. But if it helps even one person to get thru what they are going thru and see that God's Grace is Enough to get you thru it...then It's a Good thing. So...(sorry so long) I share this exciting news with some co-workers and my family. When I say family, I mean my Birth Mom and all my siblings. We are all now connected and keep in touch on an almost daily basis thru group e-mails, Myspace and Instant Messaging. (What an amazing thing huh?)
I was so hurt and suprised to get an Instant Message from my Mom yesterday basically asking me "How could I" etc. How could I put this out there for the whole world to see. She also commented on a blog I posted on Myspace back in Feb. About how I told her "I didn't know how to be a daughter anymore than she knew how to be a Mom" I didn't say it to hurt her, but to explain that we don't come with instruction books. At the time I said it (to her) I knew she was upset and didn't understand what I meant by saying it. I was trying to let her know that "it's ok..she did the best she could" Just like me. I posted a blog about it and she commented at the time. I'm just not sure why she is briging it up again now. It's crazy. I did not have a typical Mother/Daughter relationship with ANYONE. My Foster Mom Loved me. I know she did. But the best thing she did was to tell me that God Loved me and that HE would be My Mother, My Father, My Sister and my Brother. The fact that I have since met ALL of them...is just a bonus, like dessert. You can live without dessert, but it sure makes life nicer. I wish My Mom Alice understood that and was not hurt. It's too late, the damage is done and I now need an Alice Break. I needed her to be excited for me and what I've overcome and what I'm about to do. This article is not a big deal to anyone but me. I have no reason even to be Proud about it. But I am proud that I recognize God's hand over my Life and that I am Loved. Thaks for visiting.

JUST BECAUSE

2008-07-31T14:51:00.000-07:00

I have this thing about not posting anything new if I don't have any pictures uploaded. But things have been sort of busy so I don't have any new pictures uploaded. Such a catch 22. I stole this one from Kristine's Myspace I should also mention that it is the ONLY picture I have of me with my Grandkids taken this past few weeks. I'm always the one taking the pictures. It was this way with my own girls also.
I've been blessed with a few days off while the Grandkids have been here and we are having a BLAST. Went up to the Timeshare again this last Sunday and Kristie was so kind as to join us. She watched the kids while Dan and I got in a round of Golf. It was so much fun and what a great thing to be able to hang out together and ponder this wonderful life we've made. There is nothing quite like watching your Children grow up and become productive Adults. It's REALLY something to see your Grandkids start to grow and become these amazing witty little people. Kasey is 9 and I had the best time just hanging out with her and talking about some of our favorite books. I love that they have strong oppinions and have compassion as well. Saturday is a big day for us as Papa and the boys go to some BOY stuff and Kasey and I are hosting a Tea Party. I will have some fun pics/post come Sunday. Enjoy the rest of your week guys and thanks for visiting.

FOTO (VIDEO) FRIDAY

2008-07-25T11:20:00.000-07:00

Click on this link and enjoy a Wonderful Video of a Giraffe Safari with my daughter and her family/other Missionary family in Malawi Africa! It is from last December, but I love to go back and watch/listen to the kids giggle.

WEIGHT LOSS SECRET

2008-07-25T10:27:00.000-07:00

Step 1.
Eat something that will give you Food poisoning.
Step 2.
Become Very nauseated.
Step 3.
Develop Severe agonizing abdominal cramps.
Step 4.
Start having several loose stools that leave you breathless.
Step 5.
Vomit.
Step 6.
Vomit and hope you will die.
Step 7.
Vomit and hope that you don't have a loose stool while vomiting.
Step 8.
Develop Fever and Chills.
Step 9.
Start Peeing out of your very sore butt.
Step 10.
Pray that you will die soon.
Step 11.
Wake up still feeling nauseated, but no fever so you go to work anyhow.
Step 12.
Nothing sounds good to you so you just sip on water and nurse an applejuice.
Your excited about the 5 pounds you lost and wonder if it was all worth it.....NOT

SUMMER FUN WITH MIMI....

2008-07-23T15:32:00.000-07:00

Today the kids and I rode on the Loop trail (a little over 3 miles) Not bad for their first time out. We rode from Riverfront park to the playground at Walla Walla where they had some fun.

Then we headed back and took a little detour past where we parked and rode to Applewood Grill. I introduced my Grandkids to Sweet Potato Fries!
We will ride again on Saturday. The weather today was Perfect!
A quick trip to the fountain and then back to the car.

Xavier fell asleep on the ride back.

I guess it Is possible to have TOO much fun!!
Here is the link again to a few more pictures

A WEEK IN PICTURES...

2008-07-23T08:56:00.000-07:00

Here are a few pictures from this past week and a link to more
Future Soccer player?

Good kick Kasey!

He got it!

Olympic divers

Snorkle boy

Busy time in Mimi's World!

2008-07-22T13:58:00.000-07:00

I don't have the cord to upload pictures of this past week, but promise to do it tonite. The first night that Dan came home with the kids, they oohd and ahhd at their room that Aunt Kristie and I fixed up for them. They were so tired from the long 2 days of riding in a car, that they went to bed within the first hour. Thursday they spent just playing with the new (and old favorite) toys they found. Papa had recorded some fun kid movies on Disney, HBO family and a few shows he remembered they liked. Kristine was around to offer some help also. I went home for Lunch and was so sad to have to go back to work. When I got home from Dinner, we went to our favorite Mexican resturant for dinner and I glanced over to see that Jacob's loose tooth was Missing in Action. We decided that it must have come out while eating the tortilla chips. After much discussion about wheter or not the tooth fairy would still come if there was no tooth...we convinced him that the going rate for MIA teeth when visting Mimim and Papa was much better than when you were in Omaha. Jacob drew a picture of his tooth and a note explaining it's departure for the Tooth Fairy just in case. I am pleased to announce that the Tooth Fairy found it's way to my house, left $5 and a toy (cause apparantly the Omaha Tooth Fairy also leaves a toy?!) Hmmm Anyhow, the next day we were heading to our timeshare up at Desert Canyon for the Weekend. Dan, Kristine and the kids headed up in the morning and were able to check into our room. (We were blessed with a ground floor room right next to the pool!)They headed straight to the pool, had BBQ hot dogs and were taking naps by the time I got off of work a little early. I found someone to work for me Monday and Wednesday of this week so was able to really unwind and relax knowing I didn't have to miss out on too much precious time with them. My oldest Grandaughter Kasey is a Great swimmer and was doing her best to try and teach her brother Jacob how to do it too. He's a little scared of the water. However, he has no idea that he already KNOWS how to Swim! Dan and I had some snorkles from when we went swimming with the dolphins. I gave them to the kids to use in the pool and bough some nice goggles for them as well. I was going to take a picture of Jacob using them when I discovered that he was swimming/floating without even knowing it. I tried my best to convince him, but when I upload the picture to my computer he will see for himself. Little Xavier spent most of his time playing on the steps of the pool, and hanging on to Papa's neck while he swam around. "Papa, you come in the Pool with me?" I mean, how could Dan resist? We ate dinner at the golf course restuarant "The Oasis" and I let the kids order what ever they wanted and suprised them with desert Sundaes. I suppose I was playing hardball and trying to make up for being at work. After all, Papa can't get all the Kudos right? The next morning, Auntie headed home and it was just the 5 of us. We had such a great time at the pool, playing outside, watching movies, popcorn and tons of snuggle time. We have booked the same room for this next Sunday and Monday. I can hardly wait!
Yesterday I was able to borrow a couple of bikes from my co-worker/friend Tia for Kasey and Jacob. We put training wheels on the bike for Jacob, but were not able to make them work for the bike Kasey would use. The only option was for her to learn how to ride a 2 wheeler. This old Grandma has not forgotten how! Kasey was afraid at first, but as soon as she got the hang of it there was no holding her back.
(pix from my cell phone)

I bought one of those trialer/stroller things to go behind my bike and am going to show the kids the Wenatchee side of the loop tomororw. I'm off and Dan will be at work so we are packing up a picnic lunch and going to have another fun filled day.
One other fun thing we did was Kasey and I going to the Goodwill and finding some tea cups and saucers and 2 teapots. We are going to have a Tea Party! I am going to invite a few little girls I know and Kristine and I will host it. I have never been able to be at a Birthday Party for Kasey, and want to show off my "party skills". So I decided why does it have to be a Birthday to invite little girls over and have treats, play games and do fun stuff? I'm hoping to find some straw hats and have the girls decorate them with big flowers etc and take them home along with their teacup. I will be taking tons of pictures. Speaking of...check back tomorrow for pictures of our great week so far.

FRIDAY FOTOS

2008-07-18T10:57:00.001-07:00

Kasey, Jacob and Xavier Loaded up in the Car on a Road trip from Omaha...not sure WHERE they are going.

Big Smiles after Hearing they are going to Mimi and Papa's house for a few weeks!

We are going to have SUCH a GREAT time! I am a Blessed Woman.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY KARA (on JULY 10TH)

2008-07-09T14:53:00.000-07:00

WHAT A BEAUTIFUL LITTLE GIRL YOU HAVE BECOME.
YOU HAVE GROWN UP SO MUCH FROM WHEN YOU FRIST LEFT US FOR AFRICA!

WHILE I KNOW YOU ARE NOT A BABY ANY LONGER....YOU WILL ALWAYS BE MY "BABY GIRL" MIMI LOVES YOU VERY MUCH!

GOD'S PHARMACY

2008-07-07T16:08:00.000-07:00

My Sister sent this to me. (I did Not look it all up to verify if true...but I found this fascinating and fun)
It's been said that God first separated the salt water from the fresh, made dry land, planted a garden, made animals and fish... all before making a human. He made and provided what we'd need before we were born. These are best & more powerful when eaten raw. We're such slow learners...

God left us a great clue as to what foods help what part of our body!
God's Pharmacy! Amazing!
A sliced Carrot looks like the human eye. The pupil, iris and radiating lines look just like the human eye... and YES, science now shows carrots greatly enhance blood flow to and function of the eyes.
A Tomato has four chambers and is red. The heart has four chambers and is red. All of the research shows tomatoes are loaded with lycopine and are indeed pure heart and blood food.
Grapes hang in a cluster that has the shape of the heart. Each grape looks like a blood cell and all of the research today shows grapes are also profound heart and blood vitalizing food.
A Walnut looks like a little brain, a left and right hemisphere, upper cerebrums and lower cerebellums. Even the wrinkles or folds on the nut are just like the neo-cortex. We now know walnuts help develop more than three (3) dozen neuron-transmitters for brain function.
Kidney Beans actually heal and help maintain kidney function and yes, they look exactly like the human kidneys.
Celery, Bok Choy, Rhubarb and many more look just like bones. These foods specifically target bone strength. Bones are 23 % sodium and these foods are 23% sodium. If you don't have enough sodium in your diet, the body pulls it from the bones, thus making them weak. These foods replenish the skeletal needs of the body.
Avocados, Eggplant and Pears target the health and function of the womb and cervix of the female - they look just like these organs. Today's research shows that when a woman eats one avocado a week, it balances hormones, sheds unwanted birth weight, and prevents cervical cancers. And how profound is this? It takes exactly nine (9) months to grow an avocado from blossom to ripened fruit. There are over 14,000 photolytic chemical constituents of nutrition in each one of these foods (modern science has only studied and named about 141 of them).
Figs are full of seeds and hang in twos when they grow. Figs increase the mobility of male sperm and increase the numbers of Sperm as well to overcome male sterility.
Sweet Potatoes look like the pancreas and actually balance the glycemic index of diabetics.
Olives assist the health and function of the ovaries.
Oranges, Grapefruits, and other Citrus fruits look just like the mammary glands of the female and actually assist the health of the breasts and the movement of lymph in and out of the breasts.
Onions look like the body's cells. Today's research shows onions help clear waste materials from all of the body cells. They even produce tears which wash the epithelial layers of the eyes. A working companion, Garlic, also helps eliminate waste materials and dangerous free radicals from the body.

FOTO FRIDAY

2008-07-04T07:17:00.000-07:00

TODAY IN THE NEWS....

2008-07-02T14:07:00.000-07:00

......Starbucks to close 600 stores in the U.S.
Company greatly increases plans for store closures amid weak economy....

SEE? I TOLD YOU IT WAS GONNA HAPPEN!!!
These Damn Blue Tooth's are ruining the economy. First Starbucks...then the Golden Arches.....

GOT BLUETOOTH?

2008-07-01T13:53:00.000-07:00

_____________________________________________
ENGROSSED SUBSTITUTE SENATE BILL 5037
_____________________________________________
AS AMENDED BY THE HOUSE
Passed Legislature - 2007 Regular Session
State of Washington 60th Legislature 2007 Regular Session
By Senate Committee on Transportation (originally sponsored by
Senators Eide, Weinstein, Murray, Berkey, Regala, Rockefeller,
Kauffman, Keiser, Spanel, Jacobsen and Kohl-Welles)
READ FIRST TIME 02/22/07.
AN ACT Relating to the use of a wireless communications device while operating a moving motor vehicle; adding a new section to chapter 46.61 RCW; creating a new section; prescribing penalties; and providing an effective date.
BE IT ENACTED BY THE LEGISLATURE OF THE STATE OF WASHINGTON:NEW SECTION.
Sec. 1. The use of wireless communications devices by motorists has increased in recent years. While wireless communications devices have assisted with quick reporting of road emergencies, their use has also contributed to accidents and other
mishaps on Washington state roadways. When motorists hold a wireless communications device in one hand and drive with the other, their chances of becoming involved in a traffic mishap increase. It is the legislature's intent to phase out the use of hand-held wireless communications devices by motorists while operating a vehicle.

WELL FOLKS...TODAY'S THE DAY!!!
Ok...So I am not one to complain. (Ok you can stop laughing now)
But how the heck am I supposed to wear this thing behind my ear AND wear my sunglasses?(which are prescription BTW) I feel like I have to choose between following the law, or being able to see and drive safely. Which is also what a good law abiding citizen should do. I agree that talking on the phone while your driving can be distracting. I certainly agree that texting while your driving is a little involved. But if your very talented....ok. Ok. I get it.
But are we in danger of taking this a little too far? What about the lady who was painting her finger nails at the stop sign yesterday morning? The Lipstick? The Masscara? How about the Big Mac and Fries? Or Heaven Forbid.....The Venti Iced Caramel Macchiato? I've gone too far havn't I? Soon...if this keeps up, there will be no more drive thru at fast food resturants. Then they will not allow you to listen to music in the car and Syrius Sattelite Radio will be a thing of the past. In the future...you won't be allowed to talk while driving and then all autos will only be able to seat 1 person.
...NOW HOW DO YOU WORK THIS THING ANYHOW?

WFA SOFTBALL IN PLAYOFFS!

2008-06-26T21:48:00.001-07:00

THE BATS WERE READY FOR HITS...

THE ROSTER WAS SET....

THE PLAYERS WERE READY TO PLAY...

THE COACH WAS READY TO CALL STRIKES AND BALLS...

AND IN THE END....

ONE "VERY" HAPPY TEAM!
They play again tomorrow night 6:30 Hydro Park. Come cheer them on!

MEMORIES OF ROYAL FAMILY KIDS CAMP

2008-06-26T09:38:00.000-07:00

BEFORE I WENT….
Anxiety of not knowing what to expect.
Feelings of self doubt. (Would I be able to do this?)
Will they like me?
Will I like them?
Will they be too broken or scared to enjoy Camp?
What will the sleeping arrangements be?
Will I be able to sleep?
Can I physically keep up?

AFTER I WAS THERE….
Seeing all the volunteers excited and nervous just like me.
Watching how God matched buddy counselors together.
The excitement building as decorations went up.
The campers arriving….which ones were mine?
Getting them settled in their rooms.
Our first meal together.
Chapel Time with Chad.

WHAT BLESSED ME THE MOST….
Watching my husband as God used and blessed him.
The children praising and singing.
Squeals and Laughter.
Shamu chasing the girls on the water slide.
Coffee at 6am.
Hot showers.
Learning more about myself and the other staff.
Great Food.
Being Part of God’s Team.
The Birthday Boxes.
Hands going up in our room with answers to work book questions.
Hugs.

WHAT I DIDN’T LIKE SO MUCH….
Bugs.
Hard beds.
Stairs.
Bugs.
Long hikes up hills (both ways)
Tie dye ink on my fingers.
Syrup on my shirt from sticky fingers that stayed all day.
Bugs.
Saying Goodbye.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY DAN!

2008-06-25T07:08:00.001-07:00

May you see things Sunny and Bright today!
I Love you Very Much.

Singing with the Angels....

2008-06-13T20:23:00.000-07:00

(HE WORE 2 WATCHES BECAUSE 1 WAS HIS DAYTIME AND 1 WAS HIS NIGHTTIME WATCH!)

You will be Missed Grandpa George. You will be remembered as a God Fearing, Jesus Loving, Honorable, Wonderful Man. It was an honor to have you in my Life and I am so thankful that God allowed me to Marry your Grandson. He is an Honorable man too Grandpa...Just like you. His girls will tell you how hard he was on them. He was strict and tough, but he Loves them so very much. You were a wonderful Grandpa no just to Dan, but to our girls as well. You were and will Always be remembered as "Grandpa George". I Loved how you always called Jennifer "Juniper". Melissa was special because she shared your Birthday...and "My Little Kristine" was always around to help out when you would come to visit. What an honor to have been able to have you fly up for Jennifer's Wedding. That was an Amazing time, and seems like yesterday. The Fishing trip with Larry and Dan. That too is something that Dan will not soon forget. I do better when I put my thoughts down in print. This is sort of like an open prayer. Grandpa, I pray that you knew how much I (We) Loved you. I pray that your last months on earth were peaceful and that you Knew how Special you were to this family. I read somewhere that it's not a tragedy when an old man dies. You were 98, so No, it's not a tragedy. But my Heart still hurts a little. I have Peace however, in knowing that you are dancing and singing in Heaven and that you will be there to greet me one day. (Long after I've been to my Own Grandaughters Wedding I'm sure) Love, Pam

FOTO FRIDAY

2008-06-13T07:33:00.000-07:00

My Grandson Jacob, Swimming in the Howard Johnson Pool in Leavenworth last Summer.

"GET OUT OF THE WAY OF YOURSELF!"

2008-06-12T11:32:00.000-07:00

I have been going home for lunch for the past few days and have had the pleasure of watching some Daytime TV. One of the shows I've been watching is The Peoples Court. This Judge Milian is something else. She has No tolerance for Lazy people, or those who have a "Poor Me" mentality. Several times yesterday I heard her say; "You needed to get out of the Way of Yourself!" It really struck me how often this happens. I'm a pretty confident person (on the outside haha) I have always been a take charge the situation, self survival, do what it takes kind of gal. Or so I thought. I am so amazed at how often I DO get in the way of being blessed, or allowing my self to bless someone else. My self doubts creep in and I give up before I even get going.
I was doing a quick inventory as I sat there eating my lunch.
(EDITED BY BLOGGER)
A couple of weeks ago,I was browsing thru some of the pictures I'd taken of that old church up in Alaska. I wanted to have them printed up in black and white and I even have a perfect matted frame to put the 3 of them in. I wanted to give them as a gift to a friend of mine. For many reasons, I began to have doubts about if she would even like them so I decided to forgo the project. Then a few days later I read an article in a magazine about how we get caught up in self doubt, and worry too much about others oppinions. It really hit home with me. So, with that article and Judge Milian's articulate words...I have decided to "Get out of the way of myself" and will proceed to print up, frame, scripture upon and give away whatever pictures and prints that I Love to whomever I choose to bless them with.

FOTO FRIDAY

2008-06-06T05:57:00.000-07:00

PICTURE OF CHURCH BELL TAKEN IN ICY STRAIT/HOONAH ALASKA WHEN WE WENT THERE ON A CRUISE 2 YEARS AGO.

I HEART COFFEE

2008-06-04T07:04:00.000-07:00

Good Morning. That's a mouthful for me to say today. You see, My guy Dan is out of town this week. I'm getting much better at being alone when he's gone. I spend at least 2 nights a week alone when he's in Seattle at the Fire Station. Last night, I slept thru the night with minimal interuptions. I'm getting much better at this.
Which brings me to this morning. Dan is just Amazing really. Most of the time, he gets the coffee ready the night before and even knows how to set the timer on it so that the coffee will be ready when we wake up.
Other days, he will get up before me, make the coffee and even bring me a cup. I've been doing fine getting the coffee ready for myself the past few days. I've tried my best to have it all ready to go before I go to bed so that all I have to do is push the start (or on) button as soon as I get up.
Last night was one of those pre-planned evenings. I went to bed so proud of myself. I got up, let Molly out and pushed the button on the coffee. Easy as pie. Then I came into the computer room to check e-mail and waited patiently for my coffee to brew. I heard the little beep and decided that the caffeine withdrawls had not started yet, so I played around on the computer a little longer than I usually do. Ok, headache starting in and dog is barking outside at kids walking to school. So I head into the kitchen to get the dog inside the house, and the coffee inside of me. I didn't notice anyting wrong at first as I was so focused on getting my favorite coffee cup.
My daughter Melissa sent this to me for my Birthday last year. I just Love it!
Ok, back to my Morning....I glance over at the coffee pot and all of the coffee (half a pot) was not in the pot at all but all over the kitchen counter! It had even went into the silverware drawer...into the silverware tray and down to the cabinet below and coffee even filled up one of those plastic glad storage containers!! Here it is 6am and I am cleaning out drawers, cupboards, counters and my hardwood floor. All without a drop of coffee in me. Not good I tell you. Oh, and while I'm in the midst of cleaning off the counter, I knocked my sugar dish into the sink with the running water! UGH! Oye Vey! and all that Jazz!!
I get it all cleaned up and prepare to make another pot of coffee. I was now nervous that this was going to happen again so I stood there while it dripped. I don't know what I did the first time to cause this to happen. I think that I may just need a new coffee pot. So, here I am now behind schedule to get ready for work. I have consumed 2 cups of coffee and cleaned up most of the mess except for all the contents of the drawer and cabinet.
I will take care of the rest when I get home from work tonite. I suppose I'll take this opportunity to run it all thru the dishwasher and rearrange things while I'm at it. It's all good.

To the praying women in my life .......

2008-06-02T07:19:00.000-07:00

Live your life in such a way that when your feet hit the floor in the morning, satan shudders & says...'Oh no....she's awake!!'

FOTO FRIDAY

2008-05-30T06:24:00.000-07:00

SNOW for Curtis.
I Love you!

Grandparents for hire

2008-05-27T10:54:00.000-07:00

Dan and I had the pleasure of visiting with Mel and Ben Porter yesterday. Melody is my Son in Law's Sister and they live in the little town of Pe El Washington. We Love her like she was one of our own (and Ben too). The bonus for us is that they have 2 adorable little ones that we can Love on as well. Ceeley is 2 and Kyan (pronounced like Ryan)is 4 months old. She is a Very proud Big Sister! Here is a link to more Pictures.I am very grateful that they allow us to be a part of their lives.

FOTO FRIDAY

2008-05-23T16:07:00.000-07:00

This was taken Last Summer At Smallwood Farm. This is my Grandson Jacob. He lives in Omaha and usually comes with his older Sister Kasey and younger Brother Xavier for a visit with Dan (Papa) and Myself (Mimi) every Summer.
He was so very frightened of the Turkey, but really wanted his picture taken with it. His eyes are SO Huge!

GIRLS GONE CRUISING

2008-05-20T09:32:00.001-07:00

Day 1-arrived in Galveston and boarded Carnival Conquest with 8 other gals. Four of them I had not met before. A few of us had pink cowboy hats and became known on the ship as the “Pink Ladies.” We also had matching t-shirts that said “Girls gone Cruising” We Spent time out at pool as the ship set sail for 2 days of cruising at sea before arriving at our first port in Jamaica. Dinner with all 9 of us at our own table, followed by a fun evening show where my friend Barb participated in a Trivia game on stage.

Day 2-Woke up early (5am) thanks to one of my roommates who has insomnia and woke up to read every morning with the light on. We scurried to the main pool deck which was on the same deck as our cabin to secure a lounging area for our group of gals. Ate breakfast and Lunch at the buffet restaurant that was on the pool deck. Several of us gals went to the Art auction and drank some free champagne. We also went to a Wine tasting event. This cost $10.00 per person, but was well worth it. For all the Wine tasting classes I’ve been to, I certainly learned a lot more. This was the first Formal night and we all got dolled up to meet the captain. Again…more free drinks. Yay! Dinner each night in the dining room was Amazing. Went to the main show and also saw a super funny ventriloquist.

Day 3-More pool time was a great lazy but FUN day. Participated in some Poolside activities and my team won the Water Olympics as well as Synchronized Swimming. It’s all on Video, so you can come over and watch sometime if you desire. Dinner again was amazing. There was this dessert called Chocolate Melting Cake. At least 4 people from my table ordered it EVERY night. I may order the cookbook just to have this recipe. We went to Karaoke every night and I was asked to audition to be in the show “Legends” and be Madonna. (More on this later)

Day 4-We arrived in Jamaica today and had to get off the ship pretty early. Which of course was not a problem as my roommate continued to wake up early to read with the light on.... I opted to go eat breakfast in the dining room as I was tired of the lines at the buffet restaurant. Five of us went to Negril Beach at Margaritaville, and the other 4 did a Zip line excursion. We had an amazing time. This is where I am at in the attached photo. It was taken with my phone, so the quality is not too good. I have more pictures to upload from my camera. The drive there on the bus was very scary, and I don’t think I will go back to Jamaica on purpose. I loved my beach time though.

Day 5-Went to Grand Cayman today and my friend Barb and I went on a pirate ship adventure. I mouthed off to one of the pirates (all in fun) and then was promptly tied up and found guilty of some crime. (He said something about me not liking Sponge Bob Square pants) I was then doused with not 1 but 2 buckets of Sea Water. Yes…I’m not joking. I had my bathing suit cover-up on…and was soaking wet for the rest of the day. Did some shopping before heading back to the ship as Barb and I had a Spa day booked. Went back to the pool to read for a bit before dinner and the evening show. This was the second formal night also. Nobody wanted to do pictures, so I don’t have any of me in my amazing brown dress.

Day 5- Our last stop was in Cozumel. Five of us signed up to do “Race Fantastic” it’s sort of like ‘Amazing Race’ that you see on TV. There are lots of clues and puzzles that you have to solve. We had to have someone get a henna tattoo, and also snorkel to find the name of a sunken ship in order for me to solve the puzzle. We visited a museum for clues, had to play miniature golf to get another clue and then our final clue was at the central market neatly inside an ear of corn! Our team came in 3rd out of 5 teams. So much fun!

Day 6- Was spent at sea, there was another Art auction and this time I ended up buying a few pieces of art. I’m excited to get them and have promised myself to get them and the current ones I have up on my walls ASAP. I had to go to rehearsal for the Legends show and try on my Madonna costume and get myself packed up as I knew I wouldn’t have much time later in the evening. I gave my skin a much needed break from the sun today and just stayed inside. The Legends show was fabulously fun! I was nervous, but was rewarded with over 1000 people cheering me on. I had my own little group of friends in the second row that I was able to see despite the stage lights. Again, there is a Video of this at my house should you ever feel the need for a great laugh.

Day 7-We arrived in Galveston and began the long 5 hour drive back to Dallas. I had to say goodbye to some old and new friends. I won’t soon forget this wonderful time of female friendship and fun.

FOTO FRIDAY

2008-05-09T06:21:00.001-07:00

Happy 30th Birthday Jennifer Lynn!

I can't believe that my Precious Baby Girl is 30 years old today. I can still remember the day I found out I was pregnant. In fact, I can remember the day that my Gram asked me if I was pregnant.
(How did she know?) I still have the card I gave Dan to let him know that we were expecting.

My mind is a flood of Memories today; The day of her arrival, her first breast feeding, first bath, first steps...first day of school, first time without training wheels, first sleep over...the first time I heard her play the flute, her first date, her first time behind the wheel, her first trip overseas to France...her first and last Love, her Wedding day, the day she became a Mommy, and the day she left for Africa.

How is all of this bundled up into 30 short years? How is it possible that I watched all of this happen in my Lifetime. Does she know how proud I am of her? Does she know how much I Love her? I sure hope so. I Love you Jen! I hope your Day is a blessed one.
Love, Mom

MOTHERS AND DAUGHTERS

2008-05-06T10:40:00.000-07:00

This is a picture taken of my girls the last time we were all together. It was January of 2006. This was one of my best days ever. I took the girls to Shatkis for lunch and then let Dan pay for it all via American Express! LOL
Some of my favorite Mommy memories have been when I can just sit across the room and watch my girls hang out together. I will not be spending Mothers Day with my girls this year. I will be boarding a Cruise ship with some girlfriends for a week of Relaxation and Fun. But oh, how I will be thinking of them. I will be longing and dreaming of the next time that we can all be together. The Plan is for Jen and Ryan to come home next December. I have already put my bid in to have Melissa and her family come home so that we can all be together, and I can once again sit across the room and gaze at my Precious Daughters. I Love you Girls! God has truly blessed me.

FOTO FRIDAY

2008-05-02T09:06:00.000-07:00

I just talked to my Daughter Melissa this morning. She is getting ready to book flights and make arrangements so that her 3 kids can come spend some time with Dan and I this Summer. Hanging out with Mimi and Papa has become an annual event that we all look forward to. This picture was taken last year after Jacob got his new Cowboy boots and Lee Jeans so he could be just like Papa.

THINGS I LOVE ABOUT YOU (DAN).....

2008-04-30T14:24:00.000-07:00

I wrote my last posting about how Dan and I both went to Seattle to Celebrate our 31st Anniversary. Yesterday was our Acutal Anniversary and I was at work, while he was at home. We had planned on getting dinner out and I didn't have time to stop to get him a card, so I decided to write him a little Love note instead. I came home to a beautiful bouquet of 2 dozen red roses and an adorable card. He had also shampood the carpets while I was at work. It made me even happier that I had taken the time to write down what I love about Dan. I must do this for each of my girls next.
Here goes:

Things that I love about you.
I Love that you make coffee for us in the mornings as often as possible.
I Love that you take out the Garbage more times than you don’t.
I love that you unload and reload the dishwasher for us…a lot.
I Love that you don’t hesitate to clean out the toilets...more than I do.
I Love that you give in to where I want to eat once in awhile.
I love that you fill my C-pap machine with water sometimes.
I Love that you Love our Molly and that you bought her for me.
I Love that you know how stubborn you can be.
I love that you know how easily I can be hurt.
I love that you Love me despite the fact that I do hurt easily.
I Love that you are a child of God, our Heavenly Father.
I Love knowing that we will spend Eternity together.
I love that you are an Amazing Papa/Grandfather.
I Love that you are an Adoring Daddy to our girls.
I Love that you have bought me Beautiful Jewelry.
I love that I will be able to share these with our Daughters someday.
I Love that I will also have enough to give to our Grandkids too.
I Love that you are compassionate to the Elderly and not just Grandpa George.
I love that you have a tender heart for babies and young children.
I love that we have been able to do great things for others on Mission trips…together.
I love that we both enjoy being together.
I love that we both know how important being alone can be as well.
I love that you make me laugh, and I love to laugh with you.
I love that I have spent more of my life with you than without you.
I love knowing that we have the rest of our lives together.
I Love you!
Happy 31st Anniversary

FOTO FRIDAY

2008-04-26T08:31:00.000-07:00

This picture was taken at Pike place market last Spring. I loved how the crabs were all lined up perfect but there was this One taken from the middle. Somebody had to have Just that one. it was the best of the bunch I guess.
Okay, so it's Saturday already....I didn't have computer access yesterday. My husband and I are spending the weekend in Downtown Seattle at the Sheraton Hotel. We are celebrating our 31st Wedding Anniversary. We went to a wonderful dinner last night at my favorite restraunt "McCormick and Shmicks" on Lake Union. They print out their menus twice a day. When we showed up for our reservations, they handed us our menus with "Happy 31st Anniversary" printed on the top. (will add pic later that I took from my phone)
We went to see the movie 88 minutes after dinner and are going to a Mariners game tonite. I plan on getting to downtown Macy's and Nordstroms while Dan naps. I'm hoping that we make it to Pike Place Market a little later.
So there you have it. Now back to the Foto. I picked this picture because 1)It's a picture in Seattle and I'm in Seattle. and 2)Because it shows how this one Special Crab was picked by someone and Dan is my One Special Someone that I picked, just for me. (BTW, his Astrology sign is Cancer...which just so happens to be...Yep, you guessed it...A Crab)
Smiling here!

No Complaints!

2008-04-22T14:24:00.000-07:00

"If you don't like something, change it. If you can't change it, change your attitude. Don't complain."-Maya Angelou
I was so excited today to get my mail! I have been waiting for weeks to get this purple bracelet in the mail. It's my Complaint-Free-World Bracelet. I first heard about this on the Today show. I guess others have heard about it on Oprah as well.
There is a Pastor (Will Bowen) of Christ Church Unity in Kansas City, Missouri who challanged his congregation to make the world a complaint free place.
To prove he was serious, he passed out purple bracelets to each church member and offered them a challenge. You are supposed to wear the Bracelet and then each time you complain, you have to move the bracelet to the other wrist. The goal is to go 21 days without complaining. Scientist believe that it takes 21 days to form a new habit.

This thing has gotten so big that bracelets are now being mailed all across the world. There is a book that goes along with it. I don't think I'm going to order it. But it goes into more detail on what Complaining, or Gossiping is. I ordered my bracelet from their website. You can get 2 for free but you need to pay the shipping of seventy five cents. I gave one of mine away to a co-worker who I spend a great deal of time with. She brought it back to me after about 20 minutes due to "Too much pressure" However, another Co-worker came to my desk all excited at the prospect of trying this. I have had to move mine once already. Each time you move it, you have to start your countdown all over again. I wonder how long it will take me to get to 21 days of being complaint free? I WILL do this, just you wait and see. I think this would be a fun thing to do even without the plastic bracelet. You could tie a piece of purple yarn around your wrist. I'm not about the whole New age thing where we give out positive or negative energy. But I know that I complain alot. About stupid things. I don't want to be remembered for that. So here goes. Anyhone want to join me?
Here is the little blurb that came with my bracelet in case you want to try:

1) Begin to wear the bracelet now, on either wrist.
2) When you catch yourself complaining, gossiping or criticizing (it's ok, everyone does) move the bracelet to the other arm and begin again.
3)If you hear someone else who is wearing a bracelet complain, you may point out their need to switch the bracelelt to the other arm; BUT if you're going to do this, you must move your bracelet first!
4)Stay with it. It may take many months but when you reach 21 days, visit their website and click on "I made it" to print out a "Certificate of Happiness"
(LOL That's funny right there)

Ghandi said,"Be the change you wish to see in the world."

Phil 2:14 - Do everything without complaining... (So says Paul)

FOTO FRIDAY

2008-04-18T09:10:00.000-07:00

Meet Flat Stanley. This is the second time that he has come to visit Mimi and Papa. The last time he came to stay with us was when my oldest grandaughter Kasey sent him on an adventure with us when she was in Kindergarten. This year her brother Jacob is in Kindergarten and his class is doing the same Reading/Geography lesson. Flat Stanley is a Book about a boy who is flattened when a bulliten board falls on him. He makes the best of the situation and finds that he is able to do lots of fun things now that he is flat.
Many school classrooms have adopted the Flat Stanley Project and the students mail their own flat stanley to a family member or friend. He stays with the family and has his picture taken of where he has been and then is mailed back. The children then learn about the area he has visited.

When Flat Stanley was returned to Kasey's class, I had put his adventures in a scrap book. The teacher pulled down a map and showed the class where Wenatchee was. The kids already knew that Wenatchee was the Apple Capital of the world. Of course, there was a picture of Flat Stanley in an apple orchard in the scrapbook.

This time Flat Stanley flew with us to Napa and rode in a Hot air Balloon. He visited the Golden Gate Bridge, and has been to Las Vegas and Havassu Arizona. It is just about time for us to return him back to Omaha so that Jacob's class can learn about all the great places Flat Stanley visited.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY CURTIS!

2008-04-16T11:41:00.001-07:00

Today is a Special Day. It's not just the Day after our Taxes are due, but it is my Grandson Curtis's 5th Birthday. He is in Malawi Africa with his Mom and Dad who are Free Methodist Missionaries. They have been there a little over a year now and this is the second Birthday that Curtis has celebrated while there. I have to plan ahead and send their packages at least 3 weeks early. I have been so good up until now and most everything I believe has arrived with time to spare. His package arrived last week and inside the mailing envelope was this outfit that he is wearing. I guess that he put it on right away and wore it until bedtime. But he didn't wear it the entire day so that it would not be dirty and he could wear it at his birthday party the next day. =O)
I know all of this because I had the sincere pleasure of chatting with him on my cell phone Saturday morning. There is a 9 hour time difference and he was able to call me after his afternoon birthday party. Really, he was the one who did all the talking. I could hardly understand a word he said as he was talking 90 miles an hour. But it was pretty apparant that he was 1)excited 2)happy 3)Very excited and 4)Very Happy! My daughter was able to make a sheet cake for him and I had talked to her a few days prior explaining how she could color coconut and make grass and put some little figurines on top of the cake. Jen used some dinosours he had. He was pretty excited about the coconut I must say.

I guess that there were about 15 kids who showed up for his party. My heart is smiling inside knowing that he has so many little friends and that my daughter is finding her way there. She seemed to be having as much fun as he did. She even was able to rent a Jumping Castle. Curtis is sure that you can only get these in Malawi Africa.
I guess that Curtis had some concerns because his party was on Saturday which was a few days before his actual birthday and he wanted to know what he was supposed to do when the kids sang Happy Birthday to him. "When they get to the part; How old are you now? What am I supposed to say?" Well Curtis....TODAY is Your Day and you can say that you are 5 years old!! I Love and Miss you My Handsome Boy.

FOTO FRIDAY

2008-04-11T10:04:00.001-07:00

I first saw this idea of FOTO FRIDAY on My Daughter and Son in laws Weblog Flaming Waters I find myself looking forward to see what new pictures they will post on there. I Love Looking at peoples pictures. Even pictures of people I don't know! I also enjoy taking pictures, so I thought this would give me an opportunity to show some of my favorite pictures I've taken over the past year or so. This one was taken at Beacon Hll Park in Victoria BC. I suprised Dan with a Cruise to Alaska for his 50th Birthday. Victoria was our last stop on the Cruise and while we have been to Victoria Several times, this was our first visit to this Park. When I get the rest of the pictures uploaded to a safe online site, I'll attatch a link. For now, I thought you might enjoy this Mother Duck and her baby. It makes me think of Spring.

Eight Life Questions

2008-04-08T10:05:00.000-07:00

Dawn tagged me for this meme called:
Eight Life Questions so here it is,

Eight Life Questions

What is the best part about your life right now?
I do know that I have a Great Life, but I must be honest and say that this is a bit of a tough time for me. I sometimes feel that I don't have any "Best Parts" in my life right now. But I do know that things will improve. I can boast that I Belong to a Great church, and have been able to get to know some awesome inspiring Women.

What do you think the best part about the near future will be?
Reconciling with my husband, Celebrating my 31st Wedding Anniversary, and looking forward to having a relaxing week with some Girlfriends on a Cruise to the Caribbean. I am Leaving May 11th. Which is Mother's Day. It's a gift to myself this year.

What are you most afraid of?
I can not bear the thought of losing one of my Daughters, or grandkids, or my husband. Having them even out of State or out of the Country is almost unbearable, but having them out of my Life is not something I can fathom.

What are you a little worried about?
Settling a quarrel with my husband when he returns home on Thursday. I need a boost of prayer that God will direct my words, and my heart. (Dan needs the same LOL)
A few years ago, We did a home Bible Study from Rick Warren's The Purpose Driven Life. One of the lessons I took away from it was Why worry when you can Pray?

What do you dream of?
Being with all 3 of my girls, their children and our husbands all under one roof...I just Love to Look at the mental snapshot of what this would look like. (In my Dreams, it's a big open Log Cabin with a roaring Fireplace, and we're all sitting around just talking and I have at least 3 of my grandkids sitting around and on my lap!) I miss My girls so much.

Who do you trust most to share these things with?
I'm not sure, but I guess you.

What questions do you have?
I want to know why my Dad does not have a relationship with his kids. I forgive him, but am still left wanting more. I'd love to be able to sit and just talk to him about my Life. No guilt, No Stress, No Fear.

What skills can you share?
I have years of life lessons to share. I want to be a better Mentor and Friend. I feel bad that I don't didn't teach my girls how to sew, or how to do any crafty things. But I think that I taught them to enjoy Life and that "Doing things" is much more important than "Having things" (Don't laugh Delena...it's really true!) Oh, and I can make a great Pie Crust.....

Springing Forth

2008-03-21T10:20:00.000-07:00

I was searching for a box yesterday that was large enough to fit in 3 Easter Baskets that I needed to mail to my Grandkids in Omaha. I found a box that would be just right and proceeded to empty the contents so that I could put the Easter goodies inside and get it mailed off. The box was filled with some old framed photographs and a few envelopes of old pictures as well. What a treat it was for me to come across some Easter photos of my girls when they were young! It was just what my heart needed. I have been feeling a little Empty Nestish this past week. My oldest daughter Jennifer is in Malawi Africa with her husband and children as a Missionary with the Free Methodist Church. My middle daughter Melissa is in Omaha with her husband and 3 children where she is partners with her Mother in law of 2 Espresso Stands. My baby girl Kristine is living in Marysville and working at a Daycare/Preschool. None of my girls will be able to be home for Easter and I was feeling a little sad.

But coming across these pictures just served to remind me of how I prepared my girls to go forth into the world and do just what they’re doing. I can not begrudge them for doing exactly what I wanted them to do so many years ago. They are each productive and successful young Women and I am very proud of all 3 of them. I know that God was smiling down on me yesterday as he allowed me to stumble upon these pictures. Yesterday was the first Day of Spring. What an awesome Gift!

2008-03-17T10:48:00.000-07:00

These are Merlot Grapes. I took this picture in September when Dan and I were in Napa for my 49th Birthday. I Love Merlot Wine. I have never met a Merlot that I have not liked. It is not a sweet wine, but the flavors seem to just ignite in my mouth. I love noticing the different aromas and how my tastebuds seem to explode with the first sip. The grapes in this picture were at the Robert Mondavi Winery. I must admit that I sneaked one to taste it. The skins were very thin and the grape was so sweet. I'm intrigued by the fact that the finished product does not taste the same as the grape.
This blog is not really intended to articulate all the facts about Wine that I don't really know. I just know that I enjoy wine, and that I learned there is a very involved process that goes in to it. In fact, I was going to write something all together different today. But instead, I'm going to tell you how I am very much like these here Merlot grapes. I found out from the internet, that Merlot grapes are identified by their loose bunches of large berries. (I have been feeling a little seperated from friends and am feeling not as "Close" to girlfriends as I'd like. And on a fun note, I'm a little round myself)
Also, I am like this bunch of grapes. I am just hanging out here. I have a thin skin, but inside I am much sweeter than you'd think. I also read that 'The vine tends to bud early which gives it some risk to cold frost and its thin skin increases its susceptibility to rot.' (I married early and sort of grew up with my girls. Now I find myself too old to be friends of girls their age, and not really feeling "Mature Enough" to be friends with the Women who are my age)
I'm learning that not everyone will have a taste for me. Some would prefer the lighter Chardonay's as they seem to go with everything these days. Still others would prefer the White Zinfadels, and Blush wines. They are sweeter still. I'm not really that sweet of a person. I want to be. I'm a blast really, but I'm bold and loud and I'm best taken in sips.
I think it takes a seasoned wine drinker to really appreciate what goes into making a Merlot wine.
I've avoided my last reason for blogging today. I have struggled with the notion that maybe I should not like Wines of any form, much less write about it.
Shhhh....Did you know....that drinking Wine....is a Sin?
I know of alot of Sins. I've commited many sins. I'm sure that I'm probably commiting one right now. But I do not believe that if I drink a glass of wine at dinner, that I am commiting a Sin and am going to Hell. I am sad that someone would think othewise.
The good news however, is that my Heavenly Father Loves me no matter what earthly sins I commit. I believe that if you break any of the 10 commandments, that you've sinned. I also believe that if you abuse yourself by over eating, it's a sin. (although, you won't find that listed in the 10 commandments) There are many things that can become a sin. Smoking is not listed in the 10 commandment either, but to some members of our church, I'm sure it is a sin. What is a sin and conviction to one person is not a sin to another. It's not a black and white issue. But there IS Grace and Forgiveness thru God the Father.
I am concerned today that because I have acted in ways that may not pleasing to Some leaders of the church, that they would beleive that I should not have a leadership role. Does God only need Perfect People to share his Love with others?
I'm not good at quoting Scripture and I'm not really known as a "Religious Person" But one of my favorite Scriptures is this: For we are God's workmanship, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do. Ephesians 2:10
This tells me that God made me this way, I am his Creation, and he wants me to do Good works for him.
I will leave you with one last bit of "Google Wine Facts"
'A characteristic of the Merlot grape is the propensity to quickly over ripen once it hits its initial ripeness level... There are two schools of thought on the right time to harvest Merlot. The wine makers of Château Pétrus favor early picking to best maintain the wine's acidity and finesse as well as its potential for aging. Others, such as Rolland, favor late picking and the added fruit body that comes with a little bit of over-ripeness.'
I am ready for Harvest. I may be a little over ripe, but that has given me the added "fruitfull body".
Thanks For Reading, and God Bless you!
~Pam~

Morning Thoughts in the Afternoon

2007-10-29T17:26:00.001-07:00

This morning as I was heading out the door to work, I saw a beautiful view. The sun was peaking it's head over the Eastern side of town. I was in a hurry as usual and running a bit behind. I had tried very hard to make it to work early as opposed to being a few minutes late. I took a moment to start my car and dig out my cell phone so that I could take a picture. I couldn't believe my eyes when I saw the photo on my phone. It turned out pretty good. It made me smile.
I have been feeling a bit frustrated and anxious this past few weeks. I know that I've had alot going on. I always do. But most of the stuff going on is self induced. This time, my stress came from the outside. It was from other people. But that's not the whole of it. It came from people that I care about. The Loss of my nephew and how my Sister Linda is hurting. The sudden illness of my daughter and the pain of knowing that I can not be there to comfort her. My husband's added stress at having to deal with the loss of one of his firefighters at work. Even how he has been dealing with his own stress is having a negative impact on me. I have also had a less than optimal working relationship with 2 people at the office this past couple of weeks. I am not sure what else I can do to fix all of this. I have vented to a good friend of mine. She told me that I was lonely. I don't disagree with her. But it's bigger than that. I feel Alone. I feel like I don't matter to anyone right now. Not in the simplist sense mind you. But that I don't matter enough to anyone that they would want to let me know they do. I am usually the one taking care of everyone. But at this moment, right now. I feel like I need someone to tell me that what I want to do, or say, or eat, or watch on tv is important to them. I can't do anything to make this different right now. It's just what I'm going thru. Now, back to this morning. I took this picture and immediatly had a smile on my face. I was not anxious or frustrated or sad or lonely. I got thru the day just fine. In fact, I shared this picture with as many people that I could. "Maybe this is going to be a good week" I said. I am just now reminded of a scripture found in Philippians 4:6 ~Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God.~
I must remember to let God know what's on my heart and what's bothering me. I praise him for the beautiful sunrise. Even though the sun is setting already today, I know that it will rise again tomorrow.

Change

2007-10-23T20:46:00.000-07:00

I did not have to work today. For the next few months, I am going to have the pleasure of being off on Tuesdays and Wednesdays. I will cut back to 3 days a week. I need a few Mental Health Days. I had the option to sleep in, but of course I was not able to. Matt Lauer was calling my name. I took a break and spent 30 minutes on my Eliptical. I had a light breakfast and then headed out the door to do some retail therapy. I am making some appreciation baskets for some of our Pastorial Staff at my church. I thought to grab my camera and drove thru to pick up some lunch for myself. I went to the Hydro park Boat launch area and ate all by myself. I can't say that I have ever done this before. I then proceeded to take in a view of the area thru the lens of my camera. I am finding that this is a great stress reliever for me. I see things all the time that I would like to photograph, but am not always sure how to get it just right. Having a vision is the first step for many things. I do have a vision. I have a vision for what I should do with this next part of my life. I am going to embrace my days off. I will continue to make time on my eliptical. I will continue to take picutres and post them for others to see. I will continue with my efforts to make better eating choices. I will Love myself and let others do so as well. It's time. It's time for a change.

Fly Away

2007-10-20T08:22:00.000-07:00

A few years ago, We lived in Snohomish Washington and had 2 large decks that spread across the length of the back of our house. On the eaves of the roof, I would hang various bird houses. I think I had 5 total that the birds would actually use. I think they were Sparrows. The Daddy bird would do most of the work collecting leaves, grass, fabric, dryer lint etc to make a soft thick place for the eggs. He would go out and bring back food for the Momma bird. Sometimes they would both sit on the railing and talk to each other. Dan and I, well we sort of did the same thing. He worked to provide us with that beautiful home. He paid the hefty Mortgage, worked on the yard and kept things going. Him and I would sit in our Hot tub on the deck and watch the birds make a life for themselves. (In reality, Dan hated the birds. They made a mess on our deck. But that's not he main part of the story here) When the birds hatched, there was so much noise all the time! The birds cried out, the Mom cried out and the Dad bird seemed to yell back at all of them. He would go and bring back food to the Momma and the baby birds. After a few short weeks, He would stand further and further away from the opening with the food in his mouth. This was to force the baby birds to come out of the nest a bit. I was always excited to watch this part. Eventualy, the baby birds would hop out to the deck railing. The parents would both fly out a ways and call to the babies. They would swoop back around and try to lure them up with them to the sky. One by one the babies would fly and follow the parents. They would then come back safely to the nest, eat rest and then do it all over again until they never returned.
My Kristine is flying away from the nest today. Oh, she has left a few times over the past few years. She has always had the safety of coming back and we have cheered her on and encouraged her to leave. Children are not supposed to live with you forever. It's a natural thing. However, it's painful here on my end to watch it. I am so excited for her. But I am sad for me. She is a source of strength for me. Most of you know that I have one married daughter in Omaha, and another married daughter in Africa. I am proud of each of them, but my Mother's heart is a bit heavy today. I will recover. Soon, my pride will over take my feelings of sadness.
My title of this blog also brings to mind the passing of my Nephew Jonathan. He died on Spet 27th as a result of a Motorcycle accident. He too has flown away. However, he has left his life on Earth to be with his Heavenly Father. God's Children were meant to live with HIM Forever! Someday....We'll ALL will Fly Away.