Thursday, March 5, 2009


I was driving home last night and changing the channels on my car radio looking for a song I knew and could sing to. But instead of stopping on a song for some reason, I stopped on an obscure channel with some guy from the south preaching. It was a fascinating story really. He started out like he was going to speak about Patience and then began to talk about Jesus when he was in the Garden of Gethsemane. This immediately brought back a memory of me being a child sitting in church on a Sunday evening. I was so tired and pretending to be praying in my seat with my head bowed and eyes closed, when in reality I was just resting my eyes and waiting for church to be over so we could make the hour long drive home. A few weeks later, I learned the story about Jesus in the garden with his disciples. They were supposed to be praying, and they all fell asleep. I was overcome with guilt and from then on, even if I was only praying “Jesus, please help me stay awake.” I never faked it like that again. I wanted to be a better person. To be a prayer warrior like my foster Mom. She was Amazing at it. She could walk through the house holding her Bible and praying out loud for people. Some who had maybe called her and had a prayer request, or just others that God had put on her heart.
Anyway, this guy is talking about how Jesus was betrayed by a Kiss from Peter. He’d told the soldiers that the person he went up to and kissed would be Jesus. The other disciples asked Jesus if they should draw arms and right then Peter takes his sword out and cuts off the ear of one the men there….a Servant! He was just pretending to be defending Jesus to look good I guess. The best part of the whole story though, was how Jesus reached out and touched this guy’s ear and made it whole again. It was his last act of healing before he died. I hadn’t remembered this part of the story before. I was sitting in the parking lot of La Fuentes by now waiting for Dan to meet me and didn’t want to turn my radio off.
It really got me thinking of how right up to the end, Jesus showed Grace and Compassion. How Peter who said that he would be with Jesus until the end could turn on him and pretend to be defending him. I really want to be more like Jesus. In everything I say and do. I want to be a prayer warrior. I want to be Gracious and Compassionate. I don’t want to be a Peter. I want to give 100% to what is important to me, whether it’s my weight loss, my friendships, family relationships, or my work. I know that the New Year is well under way and that I’ve already made and started my Resolutions. But I just needed to convince myself that I can finish them.

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