Monday, October 29, 2007
Morning Thoughts in the Afternoon
This morning as I was heading out the door to work, I saw a beautiful view. The sun was peaking it's head over the Eastern side of town. I was in a hurry as usual and running a bit behind. I had tried very hard to make it to work early as opposed to being a few minutes late. I took a moment to start my car and dig out my cell phone so that I could take a picture. I couldn't believe my eyes when I saw the photo on my phone. It turned out pretty good. It made me smile.
I have been feeling a bit frustrated and anxious this past few weeks. I know that I've had alot going on. I always do. But most of the stuff going on is self induced. This time, my stress came from the outside. It was from other people. But that's not the whole of it. It came from people that I care about. The Loss of my nephew and how my Sister Linda is hurting. The sudden illness of my daughter and the pain of knowing that I can not be there to comfort her. My husband's added stress at having to deal with the loss of one of his firefighters at work. Even how he has been dealing with his own stress is having a negative impact on me. I have also had a less than optimal working relationship with 2 people at the office this past couple of weeks. I am not sure what else I can do to fix all of this. I have vented to a good friend of mine. She told me that I was lonely. I don't disagree with her. But it's bigger than that. I feel Alone. I feel like I don't matter to anyone right now. Not in the simplist sense mind you. But that I don't matter enough to anyone that they would want to let me know they do. I am usually the one taking care of everyone. But at this moment, right now. I feel like I need someone to tell me that what I want to do, or say, or eat, or watch on tv is important to them. I can't do anything to make this different right now. It's just what I'm going thru. Now, back to this morning. I took this picture and immediatly had a smile on my face. I was not anxious or frustrated or sad or lonely. I got thru the day just fine. In fact, I shared this picture with as many people that I could. "Maybe this is going to be a good week" I said. I am just now reminded of a scripture found in Philippians 4:6 ~Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God.~
I must remember to let God know what's on my heart and what's bothering me. I praise him for the beautiful sunrise. Even though the sun is setting already today, I know that it will rise again tomorrow.